Unbelievable Yet Not Surprising

I rarely write about politics, however, I cannot keep quiet considering the traumatic events that occurred last week. 

How does one begin to dismantle and understand what transpired on January 6, 2021, at our Capitol? Perhaps the easy answer is; one doesn't. It is incomprehensible that the actions, violence, and destruction that was leveled against our government and lawmakers actually befell our nation in this era of uber security. 

The thing is; there were numerous signs that trouble was imminent. 

For four years this president has given the American public reason to be concerned. In the days leading up to the riots, he encouraged and incited the protestors to "fight like hell". They were akin to hungry lions awaiting their prey.  

Also, Trump, Jr., Rudy Guiliani, and several top Republicans threatened to take back the "stolen election". All insinuated the likelihood that force would be used.

Accounts of the vandalism and ransacking have been on the news non-stop and it is sickening. Yet, I have been drawn to it like a fly to honey. 

Five people have died as a result of this domestic terrorism. Heartbreaking. 

We are holding our collective breath fearing that there will be another assault on or before the inauguration.

How do we remain calm? Is it even possible to continue with a sense of normalcy in the aftermath of the attack on our democracy? I'm saddened by these events as I'm certain you are, as well. 

Once again, we must find deep within us, faith, that those responsible for desecrating our Capitol and the death of Officer Sicknick and others, will be brought to justice. 

We are stalwart Americans and will not permit a reckless, crazed mob to rob us of our rights, our election, our dignity or, our democracy.

xo

Welcome to 2021

 Do you have plans for this new year? Have you made resolutions you are determined to accomplish?

I thought I'd begin my project of plans and goals by making a "To Do List" of sorts.  I did not expect it to be several pages. Yes, I've probably gone into more detail than necessary, still the list is lengthy and I am not deterred.

Much of what is on this list are items I planned on completing in 2020 - however, I, along with the rest of the world, was met with an alarming roadblock known as Covid-19.  The projects I'm referring to are mainly changes I planned on making in and around our home. I put all these on hold as I was afraid to have workmen in our home during this terribly contagious time. 

I was even apprehensive about going to Home Depot or other garden stores for fear of catching the virus, so I did not plant one flower the entire year.

The vaccine is on it's way. True, it is not a cure-all, but I do feel that the end of the pandemic is in sight and I am feeling more optimistic than I have been in many months, thus, the long list of projects.

More important than these projects around the home is what is going on inside of me. Paradoxically, despite my optimism, I often have a feeling of dread. Perhaps the end of the pandemic really is not just around the corner. Then I remind myself, I must stay open and receptive to life. This is not the time to shut down, it is the time to power up.

We have been abiding by the CDC recommendations to wear a mask, wash and sanitize hands, cell phones, door knobs, on and on ad infinitum. Again, this may seem counterintuitive, but for me it has created an atmosphere of doom not one of safety.

It is time to take back our lives. Yes, continue to listen to the science of safety recommendations but for Pete's sake, let's remember we are brave and smart, competent, caring and careful. We have much to look forward to in the upcoming year and many opportunities for growth and learning, friendship and love, giving and sharing. Let us be grateful for all we have and the lessons we have learned this year. Let's be at peace and learn to appreciate life - with all it's ups and downs.

"Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim." Nora Ephron.

xo

Addendum:

I could not publish this post, that was written several days ago, without saying how devastated and heartbroken I am by the desecration of our Capitol Building and our democracy, by the protestors, rather hoodlums, that attacked and overran the offices of our lawmakers. These people were incited by a president who is now responsible for one of the saddest days in the history of our nation. I'm sure you are as shocked and horrified as I am.

We are only two weeks away from Joe Biden's inauguration.  I am sure that decency, respect, integrity, fairness, calm and peace will be restored. 

Bye-Bye, So Long 2020 - Hello to Hope

 To say this was a year unlike any other in modern history is putting it mildly. The word 'unprecedented' has been widely overused, but it fits.

2020 began like any other year - with expectations and optimistic plans, knowing that it was the President's last year of his term. The election gave us hope that we could restore harmony after enduring the ongoing hostility fueled by this divisive President.

Almost before we could pen our resolutions for the new year, we were sideswiped with the Coronavirus. As we know, it spread like wildfire and is still raging as I write. This virus devastated our nation with the loss of over 333,000 lives and 19 million recorded infections. 

How will we ever be able to thank our health care and front line workers for risking their lives and for all they've sacrificed in order to help those in need? 

The unemployment rate reached nearly 15%, the highest since the Great Depression. Many lost their businesses, their jobs and their hope.

More tragedy as George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and many other Black Americans were killed by police, unleashing riots and more killings.

In addition, we lost many irreplaceable men and women including Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Kobe Bryant, John Lewis, Alex Trebek and Chadwick Boseman.

Add to this, the horrific fires in California leaving many dead, and thousands homeless.

The good news; neighbors checking in on one another, we're cooking at home and eating more healthily and becoming creative with exercise. I, for one, noticed many more folks out walking and hiking than before the pandemic. Working from home has become the norm and many companies will continue this realizing the cost savings and increase in productivity. In addition, working from home has resulted in a cleaner, less polluted environment.

Four long days of holding our breath until Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were at last declared the victors of the election. Hope, once again prevails.

Yes, our lives have been changed forever, and God willing our voices and  tenacity will once again raise our nation up. We have a compassionate, resolute and wise new President and able, competent Vice President to lead us forward.

Happy New Year and let's look forward to a productive, peaceful and healthy 2021.

xo

Winter Holidays Unlike Any Other

 What a year we've had. It's not quite wrapped up, yet the end is in sight. This doesn't mean that the issues we've lived through are over, and uncertainty still hovers over us, however, we have so much good news to celebrate.

The first vaccine has been rolled out and our tireless and dedicated first responders and medical workers are being inoculated across the country. The second pharmaceutical company's vaccine has also arrived and is in the process of being distributed, as well.

Finally, the official Electoral College ratified Joe Biden as our 46th president, regardless of what Mr. Trump and certain Republicans profess. In the not too distant future, our new President and Vice-president will be sworn in and a new era will begin.

This holiday we have much to be grateful for. I'm optimistic that the people of this great country will unite and realize that despite our political or religious differences, the color of our skin or our economic status, we are the same. We all hurt when our loved ones are in pain and rejoice when there is success. We must feel sadness in order to feel real joy. An open heart is the only way to live.

We may be celebrating with our families via Zoom - still Christmas, Hanukkah or any of the many other festivities that may be planned are important and we are fortunate to be alive to enjoy them. Time is a gift. I feel blessed every morning when I've been graced with another day. We must enjoy the present - every second of it.  Let us ask what can I appreciate today and how can I share it? 

I'm sure you too, have mixed feelings about the holidays. This year has been a year unlike any we could have imagined or have lived through and the holidays will also be extraordinary and unusual, nevertheless, the end of the pandemic appears to be in sight and we must keep the faith that all will be well.

My wish to you is a memorable holiday filled with joy, laughter and hope. 

xo

Disappointments

 How do you react when life throws you a curve? Or a disappointment? Are you distressed, calm, angry? Or optimistic that perhaps it's for the best?

My husband and I were planning on spending the upcoming holidays with my family in California. I usually fly out a week or so ahead to visit with loved ones and to prepare for our Christmas celebration. Due to the coronavirus I decided not to fly but to drive with hubby a few days before Christmas. 

Suddenly, those plans were derailed due to recent restrictions in the Bay Area. A new stay-at-home order has been enacted and our plans have been dashed. 

I was willing to go anyway. After all, we're only seeing family. The restrictions couldn't possibly keep us from our loved ones - or could they? 

My sweet husband (sometimes known as the Grinch) reminded me that yes - this does apply to us even if we only plan on visiting family. 

I did not take to this news graciously, especially since we spent Thanksgiving alone. This is not fair.

But wait. I'm healthy and safe. My loved ones are, as well. How can I be so self-serving, and insensitive? We're in the middle of the greatest pandemic our country has encountered and I'm whining about not seeing my son and my other loved ones when there are thousands who have lost their beloveds?

"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." -Carlos Castaneda.

 I understand that some setbacks and mishaps are more serious than others so our level of upset or sadness will vary. Then again, can we see these setbacks as part of our journey? Perhaps a part of our perfectly designed path? Is it possible to say - I may not like it but this is the way it is now and be grateful for what we do have?

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." - Viktor Frankl.

My lesson here is to take a moment to rest in that "space" before I react, take a breath and then respond, thoughtfully.

Again, the question is; are you able to act calmly in the face of disappointments?  I know, there's no easy or simple answer. It is something that we most likely will continue to work on for as long as we're alive. 

xo

Forming Us

Recently I was led through a meditation where I peered into my childhood. Years ago, I made peace with what I perceived as a trying time, as I know many of you have as well. Yet, it can be therapeutic to revisit, especially since I've been able to craft a lovely life for myself and my family. I also believe it is important to share our pain, healed or not, and allow our vulnerabilities to emerge.

What was your childhood like? It is said that more than anything else, our parentage formed us. Some say we were influenced by our peers and teachers, often more than our parents, and I do agree that these individuals had a major impact on who we have become as adults. However, for me, it was my relationship with my father that shaped me most profoundly.

My father had deep seated anger that I could not attempt to understand or unravel even now as an adult.  He was moody. He could be happy and easy going yet could morph into an ornery, loud bully in a heartbeat and without warning or obvious provocation.

This behavior was frightening to me. I was born a year after my sister and five and a half years before my brother and sister, who are twins. Luckily for the younger ones, he didn't brandish his fury on them.

My older sister and I suffered my father's wrath quite often. As children this was not only scary but confusing. Often we didn't know what we did to incite this rage in him. Other times, it could be something as benign as leaving our roller skates in the driveway. In those days, hitting a child wasn't considered the offense that it is today. Suffice it to say that my sister and I were the frequent recipients of his leather belt onto our backs and bottoms.

For me, this treatment resulted in me becoming a "people pleaser".  I did whatever I could to impress upon him that I was a "good" girl. I wanted him to see me as smart and competent and polite. However, no matter what I did, I could not please him for long. There was always a blunder or slip-up I committed to once again infuriate him.

Where was my mother, you may wonder? She was a kind, sweet but overwhelmed parent yet did her best to calm my father, usually unsuccessfully. 

This is a story, of course. Yet it was and is true for me. It is part of my history and there is so much more to me and like all of you, whatever we've experienced as children, remains a part of us. The trick, of course, is not to become a victim but to rise above it and become all that we can be.

Some of you have suffered much more serious and challenging childhoods than I. Conversely, there are those of you who were fortunate to have parents who strived to be and do the best for their children.

Regardless of our upbringing, it is up to us to know that, ultimately, we are responsible to become the best person we can be. The best is different for each of us. For me, I am happy with what I have achieved in my life. Nevertheless, I am continuing to learn, grow, love and share the joy with anyone I am privileged to have in my life.

The wise words of Ella Fitzgerald: "It isn't where you come from; it's where you're going that counts".

xo

Fear

"Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage." - Anais Nin, author.

We all feel fear. It's a normal emotion. The coronavirus is to be feared. The reality of this hit home when our dear friend Paige, was diagnosed with it and admitted to the hospital. Her admittance reminded us that we are all vulnerable and need to rigorously heed the warnings given to us by the CDC and medical experts. I know, we're all being careful. Still, reminders are helpful.

Besides coronavirus, I believe it is good to be afraid at times. If we're never afraid, it simply means we are staying inside our comfort zones. There is no growth in that zone. Growth and learning requires us to step outside of our safe havens and pursue our dreams.

When fear stops us from being the person we want to be is when it becomes problematic. Even at this point in our lives when we have accomplished so much we may still aspire to do and be more, yet fear is holding us back. 

We can have many excuses that allows fear to overtake us and we back away from our dreams. Our excuses can be varied, as in: I'm too old, I don't have a degree or the money or the time. How about what will "they" think or I may look dumb. Or my partner, children, grandchildren, friends need me. The list of excuses is endless. However, it all boils down to FEAR.

The most successful women in the world have been afraid. Consider Georgia O'Keefe, the prolific painter,  who admitted: "I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do". We all are familiar with her inspiring and innovative paintings. She didn't let fear stop her from creating her art.

My friend Morgan, bought a new home and proceeded to have a pickle ball court built on her property. In addition, she is working with craftsmen and designing a ramada, paver paths to delineate seating areas, had an attractive fence built around the court and is adding other amenities to have the home of her dreams. She is a single woman without the support of a partner to help with decisions. Sure, she has friends to bounce ideas off - still this is a purposeful act of courage. She has put fear aside and is taking action.

Susie Moore, author of What If It Does Work Out?, says: "Feeling fear and stepping backward rather than taking a step forward may feel like a safe option, but it actually isn't. You're not adding more to your life or being more powerful in life. The actions we take in our lives [that require courage] are always our proudest moments."

I concur. My last occupation was as a wardrobe consultant and personal shopper. I loved clothes but my only experience in fashion was in retail women's wear. As a young woman I wanted to go into the  fashion world but my father prohibited it unless I went to his art school. I was stubborn and declined.  Truth be told I was terrified.

Many, many years later I finally ventured out and started my own business. I was excited yet afraid, however, I knew it was now or never. It was hard work and I loved it and it definitely was in the top ten of my aspirations. I was successful and it was extremely gratifying work to help women look and feel fashionable, pretty and professional. 

Is there an adventure or dream you are forsaking due to fear?  I say discard that apprehension and go for it.

"Death is not our greatest fear. Our greatest fear is reaching death and having never truly lived." - attributed to Ben Hardy.

xo

(Names have been changed to protect the innocent!)

A Thanksgiving Like No Other

"What matters most is how well you walk through the fire." - Henry C. Bukowski, poet & novelist 

This year Thanksgiving will be unlike any we have ever had or could possibly imagine. When I canceled our annual St. Patrick's Day party last March because of Covid we thought for sure we'd be back to entertaining within a few months but eight months? It is so difficult to comprehend the immense consequences this disease has leveled on our nation. Looking at the tragedy of it, having a Thanksgiving at all is a gift.

We may be sharing Thanksgiving via Zoom without our loved ones in person, but we are doing our best to manage the situation.

We still have so much to be grateful for. Some of us have lost our beloveds, yet, as impossible as it may appear, can we find gratitude in the years we did have with them? We can reach out to others by phone or text to share our love and thanks. We can offer food to those who are unable to feed their families. We can give a monetary donation to food banks that will help serve now and in the future.

We still are blessed. We still have hope. We have a new President, and yes, it is a difficult and dangerous time right now for our country until the transition of power from the former President to President- elect Biden is completed. Still, I have profound hope and faith that all will be resolved.

I know how fortunate I am that I have a loving husband, son, sisters and brother and my extended family on hubby's side. I consider myself privileged to have the dear friends I have who lift me up when I need that and I can support them as well. We have fun and laughter and stories to share. 

Indeed, we have so many reasons to give thanks.

I wish you all a sweet, joyful and scrumptious Thanksgiving.

xo

Keeping Fit in the Pandemic

Since Covid hit life for all of us has changed dramatically. Our lives have been exceedingly altered and for some it is unrecognizable.

I have attempted to maintain some normalcy through exercise. Exercise, for the most part, has always been enjoyable. I take great pleasure in walking or hiking with my dear friend Shannon several days a week. Blessedly pickleball has returned and I am thrilled to once again be playing up to three times a week. We're being safe by playing outdoors and with four or five friends exclusively. We do not mix in with others at the courts and relinquish our court rather than allow another player to join in.

Besides adding pickleball back into my life, the one considerable change I've made is adding weight training to my exercise routine. I'm not talking heavy weights here, yet the ones I'm using are heavy enough for me. The lightest I use are 3 pounds, for certain shoulder moves, due to rotator tears in both shoulders. I also use 5 and 8 pounds for other stronger, bigger muscles. I must say - I do not enjoy lifting weights. However, I have learned through the book Younger Next Year, that it is a necessary evil. I know many of you do enjoy weight lifting and work out at home or at the gym. We can also see similar results through bands, machines or even body weight exercises.

I began my journey into weights sometime in March and have kept at it consistently 2-3 times a week since. No, I have not bulked up. That would be an interesting sight. I have, however, managed to actually build enough muscle that it is noticeable - at least to me. Most likely you would not know at all that I've been doing this. Still, it has made a difference in how my arms look, sadly I still have the dreaded bat wings going on. I admire those of you who have used weight training consistently over the  years, unlike me, an on again  - off again weight lifter. Have you been doing anything differently for exercise since the pandemic began?  

What about your  food intake? Has that changed? I know quite a few of us have put on a few pounds. Comfort eating? Boredom noshing? Restless grazing? Whatever name we give it - it's emotional eating. Let's give ourselves a break and a little kindness and not beat ourselves up over it. 

I've noticed that many more people have taken to walking, hiking or running in the morning. People who previously may have been commuting to work or enjoying a second cup of coffee have hit the road. Even if the reason is out of monotony or tediousness of our days - exercise is an energizing panacea for our attitude and our body.

How have you managed to navigate the obstacles the coronavirus has dropped in your path? It has been a rigorous haul - 10 months for some, depending on where you reside. It's challenging to keep our spirits up let alone our bodies. However, our bodies have served us well - even with the aches and pains that often accompany this third of our lives. Be kind to yourselves and give credit for all the good you're doing, even if you feel it's not quite enough. We can always add a tad more exercise if we feel we need it, but more than that, we can give ourselves a lot more tender love. That is something we all can use.

xo

The Wait is Over

The wait may have been painful, but the results prove it was well worth it. We have a President and Vice-president elects to be proud of. Yes, we selected wisely with our votes. Joe Biden chose judiciously when selecting Kamala Harris. We are now a nation that, hopefully, will unite as Americans, not Republicans or Democrats. As President-elect Biden has said: "We are not red states or blue states, we are the United States". I know, call me a Pollyanna - but remember she was a person who searched for the good in every situation she encountered. And I believe our optimism and beliefs in the goodness of Americans will prevail and overcome our differences.

We have a tremendous amount of work ahead of us, I'm not denying this. I confidently believe we are resourceful and resilient enough to handle any challenges that may arise before the inauguration of our new President. I am certainly not going to wade into those murky waters. Suffice it to say that Mr. Trump has already proven he will not leave with composure or grace.

When the reins are finally handed over to our new President, the heavy lifting will begin. There are significant and numerous issues to be dealt with. We are in good hands now. As Mr. Biden has said: "We are restoring the soul of America". Yes, indeed.

xo

The Wait is Painful

 I have shied away from politics or even sharing my political views on this blog, however this election has me breaking that practice.

Regardless of who you've voted for we should be appalled and embarrassed by the behavior of the president of the United States during this election. 

Mr. Trump posted outright lies and misinformation on Twitter accusing Democrats of cheating and election fraud. Twitter slapped him with a warning - as if that will stop him. 

He also has filed lawsuits in Michigan and Pennsylvania adding more states today, to stop the counting of ballots and has sued in Wisconsin for a recount. His conduct is reprehensible. Americans deserve a full tallying of ballots. By the time I post this Thursday morning, God knows what other shenanigans he'll devise and contrive. He's panicking. And rightfully so.

The wait is painful, yet wait we must, in order for all the votes to be counted. Americans turned out in hugely unheard of numbers to have their voices heard.

Joe Biden is remaining composed and dignified. He has class and character and honor. Exactly what we need in a president.

My blood pressure may be rising so I will end here. I hope you are faring well as we wait for the final results. Let's try and stay as calm as possible and remember that whomever we voted for we are intertwined as human beings. We are all one. 

xo