Let’s Take a Look at 5 Basic Needs for Happiness

 

Our wants are one thing; our needs are entirely different.

Photo by Tanya Dusett on Unsplash

What do you truly need to be happy? A trip to Maui, perhaps? Or the latest model Tesla, maybe that gorgeous burgundy leather jacket in the boutique window? H

Sure, these items would be lovely to have — if you aspire to them. But, they are wants, not needs.

There is nothing wrong with wants. We work hard and are entitled to enjoy the goodies we’ve earned. I say go for it.

However, let’s take a look at what our needs are:

1.  Food and water
2. Sleep/rest
3. Shelter
4. Loved ones
5. Purpose/something meaningful to do

When you look at our lives, it’s easy to see how all we desire are simply wants. Without the basics, we would not be able to enjoy all the extras we have.

This list is the ultimate, pared-down version of what we need to be happy. 

Food and water, sleep, and rest are paramount to survival. 

Shelter aids in our comfort. We can dress it up or down, but some shelter — be it a tent or a brick three-story manor house is necessary.

Loved ones — Everyone needs to have at least one beloved. We are born as social animals and need the camaraderie of at least one fellow soul with whom we connect.

Yes, even if you consider yourself a loner or what is known as a solitary — human contact is crucial. True, people have been known to survive being stranded alone on a desert island, but those are rare instances. And, surviving isn’t thriving.

Purpose — I think most will agree that having a purpose is the doorway to a fulfilling life. 

Our purpose can be as significant as being a stay-at-home parent, volunteering at the local food bank, or a retiree painting landscapes.

What we do isn’t the issue. The point is — does your mission give your life meaning?

Focusing on what we truly need — opens our hearts to gratitude that we do indeed have the basics.

This gratitude can then be transmitted to an appreciation for all the fantastic bounty we’ve been able to afford, have been gifted, or have achieved. We’re able to celebrate all that makes our lives fun and more effortless.

We have been put on this earth to enjoy life, be curious, develop a wonder about our universe, and grow and love each other. 

None of those would be available to us if we didn’t have our basic needs filled.

What are your top five needs? Are they different from mine? I’m sure the list varies for each of us. 

 I’m sure our ultimate goal is the same — happiness.

If You Love and Respect Your One and Only Body and Mind, Follow These Simple Rules

 

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We cannot expect to age with grace if we neglect our body and brain.

Photo by Jon Flobrant on Unsplash

Do not ignore your body and brain if you want them to keep serving you.

We often hear about the importance of staying fit and healthy in our later years. Yes, it’s essential if we want to be vital and mobile, and mentally sound.

Having a sharp mind is as essential as having a fit body.

What are you doing to be physically strong and mentally hearty? 

For everyone, moving every day is paramount. 

I hike the desert hills, play pickleball (my new passion), or walk in my neighborhood. I do this six days a week. It’s non-negotiable.

I’ve also added weight training to my regimen. I don’t love it, but I know it is critical not only for powerful muscles but for our bones, as well. I’ve also learned that weight training helps us maintain balance as we age. By “age,” I mean regardless of your years — you are aging if you are breathing.

Weight lifting also helps protect us from taking a spill. I work out with dumbells two to three days a week.

When health is absent, wisdom cannot reveal itself, rt cannot manifest, strength cannot fight, wealth becomes useless and intelligence cannot be applied. — Herophilus, Alexandrian physician, known as the Father of Anatomy.

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What are you putting into your body? Lots of greens and colorful veggies and fresh fruit, I hope. Plus, protein is vital for strength — not too much. If you’re able, grass-fed meats are the healthiest.

Eggs, nuts, and seeds are other good sources of protein.

Ditch the white carbs — they turn to sugar in the body, and we don’t need that. This transition to sugar creates inflammation in our bodies. It has been well documented that chronic inflammation is a cause of diabetes, arthritis, heart disease, and stroke. Scary.

Also, plenty of water is vital. The recommended amounts vary as quickly as the weather. 

Minimum water consumption is 8–8 ounces glasses a day — which is about a half gallon. Other sources suggest a whole gallon. That’s a lot of water, but usually, it is my goal, though I often fall short of it.

Keep a bottle of water with you at all times and sip throughout your day.

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Then there’s the mind. I love to read, thank goodness, and I usually have about four books going at once; a fiction, a spiritual book, an art text, and a book or website supporting and motivating my health intentions.

From what I’ve learned through the abundant research available, one of the best ways to stave off signs of aging physically and mentally is to incorporate hand-eye coordination in a sport. Pickleball fills the bill for me. 

Also, learning a new language or musical instrument is a great way to use the ole noggin.

Most of us know that challenging ourselves with puzzles — crossword or jigsaw, Sudoku, and others helps create new neural pathways in the brain — fending off cognitive decline.

For me, writing my weekly blog is fun and challenging, as is writing for Medium. 

Writing is not something that comes naturally to me, and I believe that, too, will carve out new neural pathways that will help delay the brain’s aging.

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I’d be remiss if I did not mention the spiritual aspect that also aids in keeping us young. Meditation and yoga help reduce stress, increase serotonin levels in the brain, and decrease cortisol, the stress hormone.

It is not necessary to attend organized religious services if that is not your desire — being grateful for all we have and saying thank you is spiritual.

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And of course, there is sleep, beautiful, deep, luxurious sleep. I have read that we need less as we age. I have not found this to be true as of yet. I still love 7–8 hours nightly, and since I have not been indulging in alcohol, my sleep is deeper, sounder, and more restful than ever.

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Photo by Felipe Archer on Unsplash

And finally, having a community where we feel heard and understood is paramount. Friends are invaluable at all ages. Research has proven it is even more crucial later in life. 

Call your friends and make a date for lunch, a movie, or a walk. It’ll do all of you a world of good.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit. — Will Durant, American writer, historian, and philosopher.

The takeaway to feeling young is — exercise the body and brain, slow down with meditation or yoga. Remember to drink your water, indulge nightly in plenty of sleep, and see your friends!

Do You Love Your Life Enough to Write a Compelling 6-Word Memoir?

Putting six words to paper could be a challenging life lesson.

Diana Leotta

2 hours ago·3 min read

Photo by Denise Jans on Unsplash

Do you have a story to tell? Have you ever considered writing your memoir?

Every day another celebrity writes an autobiography, or so it seems. As a result, the bookstores are teeming with them.

Conversely, there are only a smattering of stories we “common folk” have written. And many of us have led fascinating lives and have had extraordinary experiences. Others have had tragic, painful, or shocking events that colored their lives. Yet, these stories are typically unpublished.

One of my favorite creative and inspiring books is Art and Soul, Reloaded by Pam Grout. It is filled with exercises to jumpstart our creative juices and, at times, to be courageous despite our uncomfortableness.

One of the more captivating assignments she gives is to write our memoir in six words, no more, no less. This idea originated with the book Not Quite What I Was Planning, Six-word Memoirs By Famous and Obscure Writers, written by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser.

There is a legend that Ernest Hemingway got into a fierce debate while sitting in a bar in the Florida Keys to write a novel in six words. So he scribbled this six-word book onto a napkin, delivering brilliance and depth:

“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

A Jumping-Off Point

Using Hemingway’s example, the online storytelling magazine Smith asked readers to submit their six-word memoirs rather than novels, demonstrating an unusual and engaging way to write one’s story. Smith’s and Fershleiser’s book came into being as a result of the submissions. The book took on a life of its own after various publications began holding reader contests and publishing the results. A few examples from the book are:

Author Dave Eggers: Fifteen years since last professional haircut.

Comedian Stephen Colbert: Well, I thought it was funny.

Author Joyce Carol Oates: Revenge is living well, without you.

Chef and restauranteur Mario Batali: Brought it to a boil, often.

Author and speaker Elizabeth Gilbert: Me see world! Me write stories!

And two post-Covid titles from un-famous people:

Welcome back, California. But stay vigilant.

Covid pounds not responding to vaccine.

Two touching titles from anonymous folks:

Found true love, married someone else.

After Harvard had baby with crackhead.

These narratives may invoke many emotions, reactions, and opinions in us. They capture a story in a few words: regret, bittersweet love, pride, vengeance, humor, and caution.

I have given a bit of thought to mine, and I’ve decided on:

Still curious after all these years.

I love learning, creating, and digging deep into conversations with people. The world is an endlessly fascinating place, so much yet to discover.

Not only is your story worth telling, but it can be told in words so painstakingly eloquent that it becomes a song. — Gloria Naylor, American novelist.

Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash

It’s fun yet not as easy as it sounds to compose a six-word memoir. We have to whittle our lives down to the very core.

Give it some thought. What would your memoir reveal?

Did You Know You Can Conquer Your Fear by Taking Purposeful Action Now?

 

Don’t allow emotions or fearful thoughts to stop you.

Diana Leotta

1 hour ago·3 min read

Photo by Leio McLaren on Unsplash

I’m a full-grown adult in the Third Third of my life. At times I feel like a scared, insecure child.

Feeling these self-defeating emotions is challenging. Why and from where do these mental states appear?

I’ve been playing pickleball for two years and enjoy it immensely. Occasionally I will feel a bit of nervousness when a new league begins, or I am up against a formidable partner. These feelings are understandable, and I am not alone in this.

As I prepared to leave for a league game yesterday, I was suddenly overcome by fear and apprehension that I would not play well. I had five games to play with a new partner for each game. I worried I would make a fool of myself and disappoint any partner assigned to me.

Purposeful action

I immediately realized I needed a good talking to and was the only one to administer that speech.

It didn’t matter why this fear descended on me. It only mattered that it be gone now, this minute before I left home.

I needed to empower myself. My speech went something like this:

I am strong, capable, and a decent player. I am as good as some and better than others. I will not allow this fear to take over. I am summoning my courage now.

I will not listen to my thoughts. After all, I’m the one who concocted these self-sabotaging feelings.

Fear, in most instances, is uncomfortableness. Take action. Get in that arena knowing you are more than competent. I need to take my power back.

Thinking will not overcome fear but action will. — W. Clement Stone, American New Thought author.

Fear or uncomfortableness is normal — feel it and move through it. We grow and build self-esteem by moving through the difficulties.

Finally, I remembered the primary reason we are on this earth is to feel joy. We are here to grow, develop our humanity, help others and live a life of gratitude and joy.

That remembrance put the pickleball game into perspective. The reason I began playing was for fun, exercise, making new friends, and learning a new skill and sport.

My pep talk helped me to take action as action is the antidote to fear.

I played well that day. Better than usual. I took purposeful action.

How have you overcome your fear?

Have you experienced fear that appeared out of nowhere? Perhaps, nervousness or anxiety welled up inside without provocation?

Were you able to move forward and emerge on the other side more robust and confident than before?

Did you talk yourself through it? You knew you had the fortitude and courage to stride confidently through the difficulty, didn’t you? Good for you.

It doesn’t matter what our age, experience, or circumstances — fear and anxiety can suddenly appear without warning to attempt to undermine our self-confidence and derail us.

Know that we are strong, capable, and courageous. We’ve got this — no matter what “it” is.