All Is Well

Sheltering at home, wearing masks whenever we step outside our door, watching the coronavirus numbers continue to rise, and then the heartbreaking murders of Black Americans at the hands of the ones we rely on to protect us hit all of us very hard.

Lately, whenever I spoke to my son, who lives in San Francisco, I would end up in tears. Sure, I missed him. I hadn't seen him since February. Yet he reminded me that when he was teaching in South Korea, I often didn't see him for the better part of a year. Life seemed so easy and uneventful then. I was happy for him that he was experiencing a new adventure and I was on my own path. All was well.  No major uprisings in the world, life was skipping merrily along.

When all is well, it is easier for us to be well, to feel right with the world. Now that our world has been upended, the missing of my son had become an untenable situation. It has been said that "What happens to you is far less important than how you respond to what happens to you" - Eckhart Tolle.

I had been responding to "the situation" of the pandemic and protests, looting and police brutality with anger, sadness and worry just like most people. However, a tremendous need arose that I must see Nick now.  Part of it was due to the fear that this virus very possibly may get worse before it gets better and if I don't go now, the window of opportunity may close.

My husband and I drove out to California - a 12 hour drive, long but worth it. I'm blessed that I'm able to keep an apartment in Marin County across the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco - a quick hop away from my son. Hubby was happy to get a bit of relief from the heat for a couple of days and then drove back to Arizona by himself. I will remain for a week visiting not only my son, but friends I've had here for many years.

I'm breathing easier now and it's not because of the cooler weather or the evening fog.  It's because I have seen with my own eyes that my 35 year old son is fine and doing well. As we know, we are the co-creators of our own reality, however, I had dropped down into fear rather than into thoughts of love and harmony.

After writing the above, I realized that the underlying cause of my angst about my son Nick, is also due to the death of  my oldest son, Anthony, four years ago. Oddly, I hadn't connected the dots. Yet, Anthony's death has nothing to do with Nick's health or safety, however, the bottomless pit of my mind put fear into my heart.  Amazing what writing and sharing this with you can do. It has brought me back to my senses.

It's vital for all of us to stay in gratitude and love and out of fear. As impossible as it may seem, staying in the present moment is the place where all is well.

xo

What Good Can Come of This

The title of this post What Good Can Come of This is a question I ask myself often when confronted with an untenable situation. It's quite an appropriate question to ask ourselves now in the wake of the protests, looting, police brutality and racism that has a grip on our country today.

For one thing the conversation, long buried under years of injustice, has once again been brought to the forefront. We cannot hide from it. Blacks are being singled out time and again for various reasons by  law enforcement. It is time for action. And action is being taken.

Citizens by the thousands have taken to the streets to protest calmly and passionately arm in arm with people of all colors. Police are linking arms, as well, with peaceful protesters. What a beautiful image and message. As we know the major percentage of police men and women are fair, competent, kind and also believe in justice.

I lived through the Viet Nam and civil rights movements and protests of the '60's and hoped and expected change. Unfortunately, the change did not materialize in a big way. I am more hopeful today. I expect that some good can come of this.

I will leave my thoughts there for now, as I am still processing all that has transpired over the past few weeks. We all are in pain, grief and disbelief not only from George Floyd's death, but because of all the deaths due to racism including the latest homicide of Rayshard Brooks. As we know, the deadly Covid pandemic also continues to persist.

The following quote has been asked many times over for several hundred years by mystics, leaders, and people of all walks of life, whether it pertains to something very personal as the death of a loved one or a worldwide pandemic. I heard author Elizabeth Gilbert ask this particular question in an interview a year or more ago and it is one I have asked myself in times of struggle and confusion: "What am I being asked to do and learn and grow out of this? And why is this being offered to me in this amount of pain?"

Certainly, some good can come of this.

xo

Black Lives T-shirts & Staying Fit - Part 2

I wrote this post about exercise picking, up where I left off a week or so ago, however, I could not go forward with such a lighthearted post without saying how heartbroken, confused and wondering what the heck can I do to help? One simple way I can help is by supporting Black owned businesses. The following T-shirt brands are donating their profits to places that directly benefit The George Floyd Memorial Fund, Minnesota Freedom Fund and myriad other organizations: Vagabondary/Etsy, Custom Ink, Kidsuper.com (this one has raised over $250,000 for the cause) and of course; Black Lives Matter. Buying one of these T-shirts will ensure that the profit is going to benefit those who need it. Put one on and go for your run or bike ride and know you have given to a worthy cause.

Last week I wrote about the challenge of staying fit during the pandemic. Pickle ball stopped dead in its tracks and something had to fill the void other than daily walks and hikes. So began the journey into weight lifting. Minor weights and repetitions, but hey, it's something.

Now, behold! Pickle ball is back. The lovely couple who run and organize the leagues I have played in, invited those of us that signed up for Spring League to play several days last week. The Spring League was cancelled due to the coronavirus so this was a bit of a consolation prize. I'll take it!

What a delight it was to hit that darn ball around a court and over a net. I got to play two days with people at the same level as I. How easy it was to forget what a serious workout it can be. We played almost non-stop for two hours. I certainly felt those unused muscles the next day.

 The public courts opened as well. I summoned up my courage and ventured out with a bit of trepidation. Since we had a foursome there was no need to mingle with others. We played early but even so the heat eventually got to me. I'm so thrilled to be playing once again.

If you enjoy a sport or activity and were deprived of it, the resumption of it feels like a gift. Of course, we need to employ measures to keep ourselves safe as the coronavirus has not, unfortunately, left the U.S. as yet and, in fact cases are up in some areas and appears it may be around for awhile.

The majority of the pickle ball players are over 55 or thereabouts. It's wonderful to see folks in this age group be dedicated to staying fit and running around a court like a youngster.

One of my favorite books on aging and staying fit; Younger Next Year, for Women, states repeatedly: "We can choose growth or decay. The choice we make by being sedentary or isolated is as powerful as the choice we make by exercising or connecting. The rules are straightforward: Exercise hard and you will grow younger. Care about other people and you will grow happier. Build a life that you think means something and you will grow richer." Those are the words of one of the two authors: Dr. Henry S. Lodge. And are words I live by.

xo

Read While Our Hearts are Breaking

America's heart is breaking. As though the coronavirus pandemic wasn't bad enough, now we have the murder of a black man by a policeman and the resulting protests and looting. So painful for everyone. My heart goes out to the family and all the families who have lost a loved one to police brutality and racism at the hands others.

It is important to take a bit of time from each day to reflect on what is happening and perhaps, to pray, if that is your style. We must take care of ourselves through all this despair and heartache. One way to do that is to escape through the pages of a good book. As you know, it is not a selfish thing to take time for yourself. It is a necessity.

There are quite a few books that have lingered in my memory long after I've filed them away on my bookshelf.  I'd like to share a few with you. Since we have more free time on our hands these days, why not take advantage and read an interesting story?

I'm going to share fiction and a few memoirs with you. Two of the novels are fictional/biographies. What I mean by this is the authors began with facts that are known and proceeded to build a story around the facts. A 'possibility of what may have happened' or 'what actually may have transpired' are how the authors tell their stories. Both of these novels are favorites of mine.

The first is Blonde by Joyce Carol Oates. It is said to be an historical chronicling of the inner life of  Norma Jean Baker aka Marilyn Monroe. Blonde was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in 2001. It has been called a "masterpiece of introspection". I have always loved and admired Ms. Oates writing and this is no exception.

My other favorite 'biographical novel' is Dancer by Colum McCann. This is an erotic telling of the amazing life of Rudolf Nureyev beginning with his early days in Russia where he was raised, to the places he lived and danced, to the social circles he navigated. It's a mesmerizing saga.

For the animal lovers out there; is Unsaid by Neil Abramson. The narrator is Helena, a veterinarian who has died but cannot move on because of the mistakes she believes she has made regarding the dogs and other animals under her care. One of them is a chimpanzee whom she helped teach sign language. I had a hard time putting this book down.

On a completely different note, I admire the books by Nelson DeMille and The Gold Coast will not disappoint. The main character, John Sutter, a partner in a distinguished New York City law firm has a new neighbor - none other than the head of one of New York's most notorious crime families. The story will amuse and confound you. And leave you wanting for more.

Two of my favorite autobiographies are by Mary Karr. The Liar's Club is her often humorous tale of her family's tendency to violence, insanity and alcoholism. She has also written Lit - an accounting of her downward spiral into alcoholism, her marriage, son and finally her triumph over her demons. I read this when it was published in 2009 and recently read it again. A story worth re-reading.

Another gem of a memoir is The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. Ms. Walls writes about her unconventional, poverty-stricken upbringing at the hands of her deeply dysfunctional parents. Despite this there was unconditional love that propelled the author to design a successful life.

I would be remiss if I did not take this opportunity to suggest reading anti-racist books. I have read only one of the books I am suggesting; "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings", but have done a bit of research and these appear to be some of the best:

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates
So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo
Home by Toni Morrison (everything by Ms. Morrison is worth reading)
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Eloquent Rage by Brittney Cooper (I plan on ordering this one)

Educating ourselves is one way to take a stand against racism.

Be kind to yourself and take time out for a good read.

xo