Fear

"Life shrinks or expands according to one's courage." - Anais Nin, author.

We all feel fear. It's a normal emotion. The coronavirus is to be feared. The reality of this hit home when our dear friend Paige, was diagnosed with it and admitted to the hospital. Her admittance reminded us that we are all vulnerable and need to rigorously heed the warnings given to us by the CDC and medical experts. I know, we're all being careful. Still, reminders are helpful.

Besides coronavirus, I believe it is good to be afraid at times. If we're never afraid, it simply means we are staying inside our comfort zones. There is no growth in that zone. Growth and learning requires us to step outside of our safe havens and pursue our dreams.

When fear stops us from being the person we want to be is when it becomes problematic. Even at this point in our lives when we have accomplished so much we may still aspire to do and be more, yet fear is holding us back. 

We can have many excuses that allows fear to overtake us and we back away from our dreams. Our excuses can be varied, as in: I'm too old, I don't have a degree or the money or the time. How about what will "they" think or I may look dumb. Or my partner, children, grandchildren, friends need me. The list of excuses is endless. However, it all boils down to FEAR.

The most successful women in the world have been afraid. Consider Georgia O'Keefe, the prolific painter,  who admitted: "I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do". We all are familiar with her inspiring and innovative paintings. She didn't let fear stop her from creating her art.

My friend Morgan, bought a new home and proceeded to have a pickle ball court built on her property. In addition, she is working with craftsmen and designing a ramada, paver paths to delineate seating areas, had an attractive fence built around the court and is adding other amenities to have the home of her dreams. She is a single woman without the support of a partner to help with decisions. Sure, she has friends to bounce ideas off - still this is a purposeful act of courage. She has put fear aside and is taking action.

Susie Moore, author of What If It Does Work Out?, says: "Feeling fear and stepping backward rather than taking a step forward may feel like a safe option, but it actually isn't. You're not adding more to your life or being more powerful in life. The actions we take in our lives [that require courage] are always our proudest moments."

I concur. My last occupation was as a wardrobe consultant and personal shopper. I loved clothes but my only experience in fashion was in retail women's wear. As a young woman I wanted to go into the  fashion world but my father prohibited it unless I went to his art school. I was stubborn and declined.  Truth be told I was terrified.

Many, many years later I finally ventured out and started my own business. I was excited yet afraid, however, I knew it was now or never. It was hard work and I loved it and it definitely was in the top ten of my aspirations. I was successful and it was extremely gratifying work to help women look and feel fashionable, pretty and professional. 

Is there an adventure or dream you are forsaking due to fear?  I say discard that apprehension and go for it.

"Death is not our greatest fear. Our greatest fear is reaching death and having never truly lived." - attributed to Ben Hardy.

xo

(Names have been changed to protect the innocent!)