Would Your Sober Soul Like a Bit of Adventure Right About Now?

Photo by Mathieu Stern on Unsplash

We know that adventure is good for the soul and spirit. Yet how often do we allow ourselves to participate in something out of the norm?

You may be a newbie in the sober world or a seasoned vet — either way, we can all use a respite from our daily life.

Whether you’re abstaining or still indulging in the drink — we’ve been through a tough couple of years with the pandemic. It’s still not over.

Now we’re witnessing pain, killing, and destruction of lives and country in Ukraine.

Abortion rights are threatened, certain books are being banned in elementary schools. What?

This suggestion for an adventure may be just what the doctor ordered.

Over 25 years ago, I took The Artist’s Way workshop based on the book of the same name by Julia Cameron.

One of the book/workshop requirements is to take what Ms. Cameron calls the Artist Date.

This is where we seize a few hours to take ourselves out alone.

This outing arouses our curiosity and creativity.

In my post of March 9, 2022, I went into detail about this date on AINYF entitled: Try This Simple and Creative Way To Support Your Sobriety.

I’m rereading and enjoying another of Julia Cameron’s work: The Sound of Paper.

She challenges us to take the Artist Date further and try a solo adventure. This is a lengthier and loftier date to spark creativity further.

Now, I’m recommending that you try a solo adventure.

What better way to take some much-needed time for yourself and step outside your everyday routine.

Interestingly, Ms. Cameron does not suggest this to support sobriety though she admits to being addicted to the drink and quit imbibing over 40 years ago.

We have succumbed to the couch, Netflix, needless munching, and perhaps whining and feeling sorry for ourselves during our plunge into alcoholism.

You’re over it now and happily and gratefully sober — time to celebrate. You certainly deserve to rejoice. It hasn’t been an easy go — has it?

I’m not ready to take an extended adventure — but a full day away from hubby, doggie, and home? — count me in.

A day at my favorite museum, lunch on the patio with views of interesting sculptures, a delicious meal, and an Arnold Palmer may not be your ideal outing, but it fills the bill for me.

Plus, a little present from the gift shop would be a treat, too.

Remember, people, we’ve been isolating for almost two years — one step at a time.

I haven’t visited this museum in at least three years. My next venture will be more daring.

As Cameron writes:

A longer and larger Artist Date, a real adventure, brings to the soul a sense of joy and well-being. Take pen in hand. Number from 1 to 10. Finish the following phrase as rapidly as possible:

1. A great adventure I’d love to have is________________________________.

2. A great adventure I’d love to have is________________________________.

3. A great adventure I’d love to have is________________________________.

And continue to ten diverse options for an adventure you have personally created.

She adds:

Scan your list. Select the adventure that sounds the most delectable to you. Devise one small step you can take toward having that adventure. Take that step.

I haven’t any suggestions for you as we are all as individual as our fingerprints. This adventure list is for you to design and complete.

It has long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things. — Leonardo da Vinci.

Have fun with this adventure — you have worked hard and deserve it.

A Successful Sobriety Is When You’re Happy No Matter Why You Quit

I’m sober and happy — such a fabulous combination.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

My dear friend, Tim, was given an ultimatum by his wife of 25 years — stop drinking, or you’re outta here. And she planned on making sure their three children would stay with her in their home.

He tried to quit and failed. He tried again, failed again. The third time is a charm, as they say, and he is now 15 years sober.

Tim is thrilled to be alcohol-free. He acknowledges he’s more productive at work, his wife and children are happier, and hangovers and arguments over his drinking are a thing of the past.

Only one slight problem.

Tim loved to drink. He relished every drop of his favorite cocktail trickling down his throat. He treasured the Chardonnay he enjoyed at dinner. Tim even spoiled himself with an after-dinner drink of Bailey’s or a White Russian at times.

He was wildly smitten with his intoxicants. And because of this love affair — even 15 years later, he still pines for them. 

He regards his former days of drinking as fun times. After imbibing, he didn’t even mind the headaches and sinus congestion the following morning.

Fortunately, Tim is a wise man and understands that even one drink, maybe even one sip, could send him down the road of no return.

Still, there may be a little resentment that he was forced to quit. 

Not only that, but he has stated that IF he somehow found himself single — he would indulge in a cocktail. But, he’d never go back to overdoing again. Sure, good luck with that.

When a drinker quits because he’s been given an ultimatum — the power is in the ultimatum giver’s hands. You do this, or else. Tell me this wouldn’t create resentment?

Tim and his family are happy, and hopefully, they will continue to be.

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What about those of us who knew we must quit drinking. Without a shadow of a doubt, we knew that the time had come — our lives depended on our getting sober. No one had to tell us.

I’m not saying we had an easier time quitting. It’s still the same work. When the drinker chooses to sober up, the power is in our hands. No one is looking over our shoulder, keeping track of what we’re doing, how we’re managing, and if we’re making sufficient progress. 

Maybe certain family members are — still, the choice is ours. We usually have the full support and encouragement of our loved ones. We know the onus is on us by our intent to sober up, not because a spouse or other relative leveled threats.

We, too, may at times desire a drink. After all, many of us have decades of drinking behind us, and some old habits die hard. Thank the Lord; we know where one drink will lead, and it’s not pretty. 

For most of my former drinking friends and me — we are thrilled and thank God every day for our continued sobriety, knowing we hold the power.

The great news is that success in sobriety can be had whether you’ve been given an ultimatum or realize you’d had enough of that poison, and the time to quit has arrived.

Sobriety is a success, and I say well done!

My Latest Wake-Up Call and Its Consequences — An Unexpected Mess

I thought I was a mindful soul — apparently not.

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I was being a “good wife” and pouring a soda into my husband’s 24-ounce glass when in my haste, I knocked it over. To make matters worse, I hurriedly tried to grab the drink in an attempt to avoid a mess and hit the one-liter plastic bottle of sticky icky soda, and it too tumbled over! That’s a heck of a lot of soda.

I now had a mess on my already full hands. The flood spread like a tsunami over the countertop, gushing over the stovetop and cascading down the side of the island onto my somewhat clean floor.

After I tended to this sloppy muck, I questioned why and how did this happen? 

The answer was immediate — my mind was not on the action I was taking. My mind was barely involved at all — it was wondering what I would write about next.

The spillage gave me something to write about, but the main point is — I was not present in the action of pouring the soda.

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I usually pride myself on my morning meditation. And my walks in nature with my dog — usually noticing my beautiful surroundings and attempting to stay mindful of each moment.

Wake-up call. I certainly needed one. 

I already know that mindfulness is the act of being aware in every moment of what I’m doing and feeling. I wasn’t mindful of what I was doing, or the mishap wouldn’t have occurred.

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The Mayo Clinic advises practicing these four mindfulness exercises:

• Pay attention. 
• Make the familiar new again.
• Focus on your breathing.
• Awaken your senses.

These exercises will help reduce stress and anxiety. Our mood will improve. And most importantly, for me, less negative thinking and distraction.

What about you? Do you find yourself doing one thing yet thinking about something entirely unrelated to the action at hand? Be careful — or you may have a mess on your hands, too.

Distraction was present while pouring the soda and thinking of my next article. If I had given my full attention to the act of filling my husband’s glass, I wouldn’t have had the mess to clean up.

Then again, I wouldn’t be writing this article and learning the value of “short-form” writing.

 

Do You Think It’s Important to Celebrate Your Wins — Small and Large?

If you don’t give yourself credit for your small wins, you won’t notice the big ones, either.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Yesterday I hit quite a few fantastic shots in pickleball. I also missed several easy ones.

Why did my mind focus on the bungled ones?

More importantly — why didn’t I celebrate the great shots I delivered? Sure, we strive to improve our sport — whatever it may be. Learning and practicing new moves, strokes and serves are necessary for progress.

However, I’m learning that celebrating our good moves may be every bit as vital as learning how to improve our game and advance to a higher level.

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When consumed with writing an article for Medium, and suddenly you’ve lost momentum. Your mind seems to have frozen. Not a thought, idea, or even an intelligent word enters your agitated mind. What happened? To where did all the ideas disappear?

Just as abruptly as your creativity hits the deep freeze — the sun reappeared, and your mind defrosted as new concepts arose.

You proceed to write an outstanding, insightful article and the hope that it may go viral is no longer a fantasy but a real possibility. Even you can see that.

Yet you berate yourself for wasting time in the frozen brain tundra and worry that this freeze may happen again. Wouldn’t it be more productive to say “bravo”!? Not only did I write an outstanding article, but I was steadfast in my determination not to abandon the post.

We must take credit for and congratulate ourselves for all our “wins” — significant or minor.

I’m learning that the brain is not intrinsically wired to celebrate victories — either big or small. We must train our minds to take a moment to congratulate ourselves.

Why? Because when we skip that “atta girl” moment, we teach our brain to pass on the more significant wins, as well. The result — we feel less joy. And the cycle continues.

What do you do when you experience some type of “win”? How do you feel? Elated? Or do you ignore it and immediately go on to the next chore?

One of my mottos is — the reason we are on earth is not simply to learn, grow and connect with other humans — but to experience joy. Celebrating our wins leads to joy.

We must train our brains and bodies to appreciate the smaller wins we incur every day and quit taking them for granted.

I have discovered an unexpected bonus of celebrating our wins: self-confidence.

Lately, I’ve been remembering to congratulate myself for small victories, specifically in pickleball resulting in higher self-confidence and heightened skill. I’ve improved considerably by the addition of this simple yet powerful change.

I guarantee you will feel more joy, gratitude, and pride for your accomplishments. When the more monumental victory arrives, you’ll be prepared to celebrate fully.

"The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. "— Oprah Winfrey.

Can You Step Into Your Life Through Its Challenges and Opportunities?

Our lives beg us to step up to the plate.

Photo by DANNY G on Unsplash

We’re not made to withdraw from life. We’re made to seize each moment and value every breath. We’re made to be bold — to take risks, to help others. We are the most creative, fearless, passionate being that ever walked the face of the earth.

Don’t identify with limitations — embrace possibilities. This is not the beginning of the end. This is the beginning of what's next. This is Growing Bolder.

This quotation is from Marc Middleton, host and founder of the PBS half-hour weekly show Growing Bolder and author of the book by the same name.

I love this program as it showcases seniors and others who have risen above challenges to become more vital, powerful, and robust beings.

Often these men and women have used their hardships and tragedies to help not only themselves but others, as well.

Is it a time to explore?

It is not just through difficulties that we grow and evolve. Any time a change occurs, whether we are the initiators of the transformation or it came upon us unwelcome, it is a time for growth. This period can also be an opportunity to step into a new phase of our life.

Changing jobs or careers, moving to a new community, starting a family, or retirement are all ideal occasions to try something new.

At times we feel the itch to try something fresh. How exciting this juncture can be.

What is it that calls you? Is there something you dreamt of as a child, but life got in the way? Is it possible to explore this long-forgotten dream? Is there is a vision you once had that has been lying dormant for some time?

Or is there something that has recently entered your radar that you are interested in pursuing?

A few years ago, an acquaintance told me about the sport of pickleball. I’d never heard of such a sport. I checked it out, took a four-week beginners class, and this sport is now a significant, enjoyable part of my life.

I received a bonus when I gave pickleball a try — a tribe of amazing women I am blessed to call my friends.

If you have a niggling notion that there is something you’d like to try — do a little research to see if it fits. If so — give it a go — even if it seems daunting. Do not allow fear to stop you.

When difficulties arise

We all must navigate difficulties— losing a loved one, financial stress, or being diagnosed with a frightening illness. Yet we have been courageous — even though we felt fear— and overcame these hurdles.

After the dust settled, what was your resultant dominant emotion — even while enduring your grief and disbelief?

I bet it was dignity, faith in yourself, and pride that you did not abandon yourself through this painful time. You hung in there and came out the other side a stronger, bolder, and braver soul.

No one gets through this life free from struggles and hardships. We evolve through adversity. Unfortunately, our most powerful lessons and growth come from our heartaches, not from the easy, fruitful times.

We have a choice in how we handle these stormy seas.

Will you complain, whine and cave in? Or will you accept the challenge and try to find joy during this trying time?

Sure, we can withdraw from life when tragedy strikes — but as Marc Middleton reminds us — we’re made to seize each moment and value every breath.

When you face challenges, as difficult as they may be — meet them head-on — proving to yourself how fearless you are.