A Quiet Day in a Busy Week

I just returned from spending a week at my little apartment in Marin County, CA.  It was a week chock full of visits with friends, lovely morning walks along the bay and a trip to San Francisco's MOMA.

My visits with friends always involves lunch or dinner and lots of conversation and plenty of belly laughs.

One group, 3 dear friends I met through an Artist's Way class many years ago, are artistic - (each in their own way), spiritual and always on a path of self-development, as am I.  Our conversations usually center on one of these subjects and are accompanied by a lovely meal.  This time we went to Jill's home in Sonoma County for a pot luck in her beautiful back yard surrounded by flowers and shrubbery and butterflies (and a few pesky bees!)

Another afternoon was a lunch at the Left Bank restaurant in Larkspur where Susie and I sat outside at the sidewalk cafe dining on French inspired sandwiches and salads.

My son, Nick and I had lunch at John's Grill in San Francisco, famous for it's part in the movie and novel - The Maltese Falcon.  Always a yummy and interesting choice. After lunch we were off to MOMA.  Writing about this museum could be a post unto itself. Suffice it to say, we thoroughly enjoyed it!

The remainder of my week in Marin was busy with the exception of Sunday.  I was up and out early for a walk along the water as I usually do and after a quick trip to Trader Joe's headed back to my apartment.  A friend I had planned on seeing took ill and had to cancel and as it turned out, this day was completely and totally enjoyable and unexpectedly so.

I had the entire day ahead of me with not one thing on my agenda. Usually, my time here is jam packed in order for me to see everyone. This day I ate a leisurely lunch sitting on my deck - no TV or book to distract me.  Later, I spent a few hours reading my newest fiction; The Silent Patient (fascinating read), getting through my emails and online newsletters, and simply sitting admiring the amazing pine trees and simply being.  Imagine the luxury of being alone with nothing but your thoughts and silence.  Absolutely lovely.

Perhaps I enjoyed this time alone so much because it is so rare.  I relished every moment of it.

xo

An Unlikely Subject: Sports

I never thought I'd write about sports.  I rarely even read about sports unless it's something especially eye catching - as an unexpected Super Bowl win or my team winning the World Series.  However, I'm in California which was my home for over 40 years and whenever I'm here I watch my beloved San Francisco Giants on TV.  Silly me - last week I canceled the extra channels I had on my Comcast as I'm only here a couple of months of the year and it seemed like a waste of money.  Jeez, why didn't I wait until baseball was over!? Tonight the Giants are on the MLB channel - one of the ones I canceled. Rats.

That got me thinking about my other favorite teams. I grew up in New Jersey and my mother was a die hard Yankee fan, so, of course, was I.  She was so nuts about them and Mickey Mantle, in particular, that she became known as Mickey.  That name stuck with her for over 40 years.  I still root for the Yankees today.  And, they are my husband's favorite team, as well.  That and the New York Giants.

After moving to Marin, the San Francisco Forty Niners became my football team, but now the New York Giants are back in my life, as well.

As if that's not enough, now that I'm living in AZ for most of the year, I have more teams to support; the Diamondbacks and the Cardinals. Holy moly.  And I haven't even mentioned basketball.

Fortunately, I'm not a huge basketball fan, but an amazing team like the Golden State Warriors cannot be ignored. They are a phenomenon and so much fun to watch.

The sport seasons roll so seamlessly from one to the other even before I'm ready for it.  And, of course, golf - a sport my husband watches on weekends, is year round.

Thank goodness pickle ball, my healthy addiction, is not yet on broadcast TV!

xo

Setting Boundaries

I had a conversation the other day with my friend, Darlene, about her relationship with her ex-boyfriend.  She learned the hard way about setting boundaries.

Darlene was in a relationship with a man who always wanted her attention and time.  Whenever she went out with a friend he would whine and complain that she left him alone and why couldn't she see her friend while he was at work.  (At this point, he was semi-retired and only worked 3 days a week).

Fortunately, Darlene was wise enough not to relent and share a home with him, (even though he constantly suggested it) so they both had their own places. Yet, this didn't stop Rich from his constant complaining that she should spend more time with him and not with her family or friends.

Darlene tried to set boundaries with him but to no avail.  Finally, he became so possessive that after almost 3 years, she ended the relationship.

I'm blessed to have a wonderful husband and when we first got together he couldn't understand why I needed my "space", my "alone time".  My alone time is what energizes and invigorates me.  Some people get their energy by being with others.  Hubby is one of those people.  I had to set my boundaries right at the start that mornings were my time to meditate, read, reflect or whatever I needed to do to get my day off to a good start.  It took a little training but he's totally on board now.  In addition, I encourage him to spend time with his friends having lunch and talking sports or whatever they talk about when women aren't around!

Furthermore, he knows I need time to exercise, visit with friends, shop and take part in other things he has no interest in.  And I leave him alone when he watches his favorite TV show - Judge Judy! 

We have learned how to set healthy boundaries so that we are both happy.

Setting boundaries has nothing to do with love and it doesn't mean that you care about the other person less. In fact, it's a way of showing that you love and respect yourself and your partner enough to protect what you need and to give your partner what he/she needs, too.

Darlene is much smarter now and even though at times she is missing him - they did have wonderful times together despite his neediness - she is much happier and will not make this mistake again.

xo

My Three Goals

I have set three goals for myself to be realized by September 1, 2020.  Yes, most people start goals on New Years Day, but that is no matter to me.  I have chosen one year from now.

I am reading The Miracle Equation by Hal Elrod and was inspired by this book to set new goals for myself now.  I am a bit hesitant to share them publicly as "someone" may hold me accountable!  However, if I'm serious about attaining these goals, wouldn't I want to be held accountable?

So here goes; my three goals are:
 
     1.  To have this blog read by people I don't know - having it go public and getting noticed.

     2.  To have attained level 3.5 in pickleball.

     3.  To have completed a collage for my son and one of the San Francisco skyline.

There, I've said it.  Phew.

A bit of an explanation regarding my goals is needed.  My first goal to have my blog noticed is because it's not being read.  There are hundreds of thousands of blogs out there and mine is a little personal one yet it would be nice to have someone read it.  Yes, friends are reading it and actually that is very important but many of them already know what is going on in my life.  I'm really writing this blog because having lived six decades I have experienced events that might be helpful to others if I share them.

Goal two - I started playing pickleball this year and am totally and completely addicted and want to improve.  I'm guessing I'm at a 2.5 level now and have no idea how quickly one can improve but a 3.5 doesn't seem out of reach.  Perhaps I'm living in a dream - but I'll give it a shot.

I was painting for about 10 years and due to various circumstances took an extended break.  Now I'm interested in creating collages.  I completed my first collage this spring in honor of my son, Anthony, who died almost four years ago. I love that piece of art and it is hanging in my home.  Now I will create one for my younger son, Nick, who is a remarkable young man.

I have begun two different ones about Nick, but was unhappy with them.  Time to start anew and work through the fear of failure that creating something new often accompanies me. (Thus the reason I'm giving myself a full year to accomplish two collages.)

So there you have it.  The three goals for me to accomplish by September 1, 2020.

Please let me know if you are a goal setter and how that is going.

Till next week.....

xo