So Much to Think About

There is so much going on in our country right now. The Covid is not only still with us, it is escalating in many states. It is spreading among the younger adults mainly due to foolish, irresponsible behavior on their part. Not only could they become infected by attending up-close and personal parties, but, obviously, they can bring it home to their parents, siblings, and many others.

It's time for schools to reopen and the battle is waging among government, teachers, parents and health officials. Yes, children need to be in school but at what cost to their wellbeing? Something else to think about.

A student in a high school in Georgia made a video with his phone showing the overcrowded hallways and the primarily non-mask wearing students, put it on social media and was promptly suspended. What? Since that day, many students contracted the virus and are now under quarantine.

Now, I'm learning that the lives of the health officials who are doing their best to get the information disseminated and delivered to the public are being threatened. I ask; Why? Who are these bullies and why are they doing this? The mind boggles.

Protests that began in the Spring in Portland have turned into riots and looting and major destruction of property. Yes, the original motivation was to support Black Lives Matter in this unlikely 70% white populated city but now it has gotten completely out of control.

The Russians are already meddling in our presidential election. Again. But wait, there's more - they've already developed the first Covid -19 vaccine. Yeah, right.

The economy as we knew it no longer exists and exactly how will it be uprighted?

So many questions, so few agreed upon answers. And so many moving parts.

Despite it all, and I've shared this before, America is a country with faith and hope and the knowledge that we will pull together. We need strong and brave and honest leadership. We must believe we will prevail. This is not cockeyed optimism. It is faith in the American people. We have power. We can Vote.

xo

Creativity

Many of us believe we are not creative. When we think of creative people we think of Picasso, van Gogh, Hemingway, or Beethoven. You know,  really creative, artistic types. Not the ordinary Joe,  like you or me.

The truth is - everyday people are artistic and creative, as well. As Pam Grout relates; Howard Finster, a retired minister with a sixth grade education didn't pick up a paintbrush until he was in his 60's. One day, God said to him, "Howard, I want you to start painting."  He reminded God that he hadn't a clue how to paint and God retorted just as quickly, "How do you know?" Over the course of the next 28 or so years, Howard produced 46,000 paintings. True, a good deal of his artwork was not traditional art, however, Barbra Streisand, Woody Allen and others have paid upward of $20,000 for his artwork.

My son Nick takes beautiful and unusual photographs as he strolls through his San Francisco neighborhood. He enjoys experimenting with new recipes and is always baking something yummy. He is purchasing furniture for his apartment and takes pride in decorating it and hanging artwork on newly painted walls. Yet, still insists he isn't creative. Where do we get the idea that creative folks are not us?

Everyone has creativity. Some are mathematicians, or scientists or dancers or writers. It's all creativity. We simply must acknowledge it, coax it out, nurture it and it will grow.

Betty Edwards, author of Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, compared creating art to reading. "We don't give kids a stack of books and expect them to know how to read. We wouldn't accuse them of not having the aptitude for reading if they didn't pick it up on their own." (from Pam Grout's Art and Soul).

Why do we think we should create a masterpiece the first time we take a stab at oil painting? Or write a best seller after our first draft? Practice, patience and the constant doing will produce a work that will be not half bad. It has the potential to be good, but it hasn't quite made it there. The secret is not to give up. Perseverance, my sweet.

What little nudge or inkling of a creative idea do you receive from the ethers now and again? Follow that notion and see where it may lead. What better time than now to follow those little whispers and hints? Just imagine what you might create.

xo

A Little More About Resistance

In my last post I wrote how I meet resistance whenever I want to create a piece of art. This is especially true when the art is being made for someone else - "commissioned" so to speak. Even when that someone is my son.

My son, Nick, gave me quite a few items he would like me to incorporate in a collage for him. I have tried several times to complete this artwork, however, I have yet to be satisfied with the results. Rather than destroy it completely, I cut it up, saving the important pieces in order to use in the next endeavor. But still, not happy with the result, I toss it aside until I marshal up my courage for my next attempt. Thankfully, he's a patient guy.

I will get back to it, I promise myself.

In a conversation I had today with my dear friend, Jennifer, she suggested that perhaps the time simply is not right for this piece to be completed. Maybe I should wait until the time feels right. I value her opinion and this idea is so true in many instances, however, I cannot use this as my reason for not completing Nick's collage. It's that old familiar insidious fear rearing its ugly head. As Steven Pressfield writes in The War of Art: "Master that fear and we conquer Resistance".

How do you deal with resistance? Is there something you would love to do - perhaps try scuba diving,  show your photographs at the State Fair, climb the highest mountain in your state? Are you able to dive right in? Fill out the entry forms for the show at the Fair? Gather supplies for that challenging mountain? Or do you do a bit of research first?  After all, we need to gather information before we take on a new challenge or adventure, don't we?  Is this valid knowledge we're collecting or resistance?

As Mr. Pressfield knowingly observes: "Resistance obstructs movement only from a lower sphere to a higher. It kicks in when we seek to pursue a calling in the arts, launch an innovative enterprise, or evolve to a higher station morally, ethically, or spiritually".  That explanation makes a lot of sense to me.

xo

Procrastination and Resistance

I can be a procrastinator. No, not in everything - but certain things. Those icky things that need to be done but are a big pain in the butt. For example; cleaning the refrigerator - no I don't mean just dumping the food that has turned into a science experiment.  I'm talking about the major cleaning, as in removing the shelves, veggie, fruit and meat drawers.  Soaking them to remove the gunk - that sort of thing. There's no valid reason for postponing this, other than it's a job and a tedious one if left undone for too long.

Then there is the sort of procrastination that is due to fear. It's known as resistance. One of my biggest fears is creating art. I absolutely love art. All forms. Creating it is another story.

My father was an artist until I was born when he decided he could not support the family being a working artist. Our family, at that time, consisted of my mom, my sister who was a year old when I was born and my dad, of course.

I suspect he was bitter about this, giving up a vocation that he loved after graduating from art school.

When I was around seven or eight, after proudly unveiling a painting I made, my dad matter-of-factly said; you're smart but you have no talent so don't think you can be an artist. Be a lawyer or teacher instead.

I bought into the idea that I had not one iota of talent. When I was 50 years old or so, I decided it was time to give up that old story. After all, I'd already proven that I could decorate a home beautifully, (several of them by this point), to the extent that friends would ask for help or advice with their decorating projects. That's talent, no? And I was often complimented about my clothing outfits. I could manage to dress well, wasn't that talent? I could set a beautiful tablescape and cook a lovely meal when hosting a dinner party. Again, that takes a bit of creativity, as well. So what's up with holding onto something my father said 40 years ago?

I love what Pam Grout says in Art & Soul Reloaded: "Talent is like an underwater stream - equally available to everyone. You tap into it with your effort, and it flows through you".

Yes, it was time to let go of that old baggage and into art I delved. I signed up for ongoing weekly classes, and as a result painted quite a few pieces that are decent enough that they're hanging in my home. I am proud of this accomplishment.

However, when I decide I'd like to create a new piece of art is where resistance kicks in. I am going to begin that new painting, I'm just going to start tomorrow. Resistance is primarily fear saying; run for the hills. It is said that the more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.

I felt a calling to create a collage in honor of my son, Anthony, who passed away at age 36, over four years ago. It took a huge amount of time to even muster up the courage to begin. Once I began, things did not move along smoothly. However, torrents of tears and a massive amount of resistance later, a piece of art emerged that I absolutely love. The collage contains pieces of notes and cards from him that he gave me throughout the years and other aspects of this precious soul that establishes this collage as priceless.

I plan on making a collage for my younger son, Nick. He's already supplied me with various elements he'd like me to include in it. Again, fear is showing up in the form of resistance. I'd like to break through this resistance and  overcome my fear of beginning this project. Yet in my heart I know that the only way to overcome fear is to proceed despite it.

xo

Reinventing Ourselves

Reinvent now? I know, we're in the middle of a pandemic. Who has the interest or desire to think about reinventing ourselves? Isn't it enough that we're confined to our homes and when we do dare emerge into the outdoors, we must mask up? We're stressed. Bored. Listless. However, we do still have a life. And we are alive and for the most part, if you're reading this, healthy.

So what better time than now to give some thought as to what may lie ahead. Many of my readers are already retired or contemplating it or preparing to retire at some time in the near future.

And even if you are not ready for retirement, you may be ready for something new. Something that perhaps you have always wanted to do? Or something that of late, has caught your interest and you're wondering if it is something you may want to try? Sometimes it's best to let an idea incubate before rushing into it. Or perhaps the time is now to kick the tires on that new inspiration.

Twenty plus years ago I met several women at an Artist's Way class, (based on the book by Julia Cameron). By the end of the class Jennifer, Jill and I had become fast friends.

The purpose of this class was to reconnect us to - or help us discover - our creativity.

During this time, Jill was working for an insurance company and studying for her master's degree in psychology with an emphasis on coaching. After earning her degree she and her husband set up an office working together. They had a robust practice for several years when Jill decided to enroll in a year long program to help her redirect her focus to helping her clients achieve or discover a dream they have or may not yet have discovered. This shift has energized Jill and her business has taken on a new life.

Jennifer had a glimmer of an idea that she might like to become a chef. After the 12 week Artist's Way class was over, she enrolled in culinary school and after graduation began what was to become an exceedingly  successful catering business.  Fast forward 18 years, the coronavirus hits and she can no longer continue catering weddings and other parties that had become her forte.

Jennifer realized this was an unexpected gift. She observed that in the recesses of her mind, she was questioning if catering still held the same interest it once had. After some reflection, she came to the conclusion, that as unlikely as it seemed, she enjoyed keeping the books for her husband's thriving photography business. She is now investigating the possibility of bookkeeping as a part time career.

It took some time for me to settle into my new retired lifestyle in Arizona, make new friends and find my way around. Now that I've been settled for several years I have discovered that the possibilities are endless. I'm enjoying figuring it all out, experimenting with new forms of art and generally noticing what grabs my attention. Of course, much of it will need to wait until life returns to some semblance of normalcy.

What possibilities are about to float your boat?

"A ship is always safe at shore but that's not what it's built for" - Albert Einstein.

Where and when will your ship sail?

xo

Reinvention on a Dairy Ranch

West Marin County, CA is gorgeous, pastoral and dotted with dairy farms. One of the most prolific and successful was the Giacomini Dairy in Point Reyes owned by Bob and his wife, Dean Giacomini. When Dean died, Bob was looking to retire but didn't want to sell his farm that he had for 54 years. He hoped it could be carried on for another 54, however, the milk business was getting more difficult. Bob had the idea of producing cheese.

He called his four daughters home for a meeting, all of whom had careers scattered throughout Northern California. None of them ever had an interest in dairy farming, however, the cheese idea sparked an interest, in addition to their desire for the farm to continue on.

As Jane Pauley tells the story; "with the support of husbands and brothers-in-law, affectionately known as the "outlaws", all four girls helped Bob reinvent the Giacomini Dairy as they reinvented themselves. They were all 'paid in cheese' for the first five years. It was a financial gamble and a lot of work, but it's paid off." Ms. Pauley relates that she saw a salad garnished with Point Reyes blue cheese on the menu at a fancy New York restaurant.

Point Reyes Cheese won two SOFI awards (often described as the Oscars for food) in New York City. All four of the daughters had busy careers, Jill had a Silicon Valley job, Karen was a stay at home mom, Diane had a 20 year career as a banker and Lynn was in the wine industry. Now all four have happily reinvented themselves as awarding winning cheesemakers.

There is another reinvention taking place as retirement age approaches and generally, that is around age 66-67, depending on your year of birth. However, many folks are continuing to work because they truly enjoy it. Others are planning on retiring as soon as they are able. As Marc Middleton writes in Growing Bolder: "There's certainly nothing wrong with - and much that is beneficial about - ending a career, slowing down, relaxing, reflecting and re-prioritizing. But doing so should't lead to the end of a productive, engaging and meaningful life. Retirement isn't the beginning of the end. It's the beginning of what's next. And, once again, you get to choose what's next. " And I say - how exciting to add a new chapter!

xo

My Reinventions

I'd like to begin a conversation on reinvention. In upcoming posts, I'll tell you about several amazing women who reinvented themselves in midlife or later, but first, I thought I'd share a little about my professional past and my hopes for the future.

My goal is to live well into my 90's - maybe even 100. It's not impossible. Many before me have done it.  Of course, that's provided I take extraordinary care of myself. I exercise aerobically six days a week, lift weights (at home) two to three times a week, and stretch and do a bit of yoga and other functional exercises on other days. I am careful (most of the time) of what foods go into my body, keep a community of family and friends and have a spiritual life. In addition, I am endlessly curious about a myriad of subjects. All of these activities and behaviors are said to help lengthen one's life and keep us vital and active. All of us can live a long, productive, purposeful life, provided, of course, we are fortunate to escape the unpredictable injury or illness.

I have been a creature of reinvention my entire adult life. I did not ever have an occupation, that I wanted to turn into a lifelong career. In the past I envied those of you who had a calling or profession that was fulfilling.

My first job was with a large insurance company in New Jersey, where I was born and resided in until age 27 when I took a leap and moved to Marin County, California, a short jaunt across the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco. I remained in that general field, after moving, working first for the president of another insurance company and when he retired, administrative assistant to a financial planner. That covered the first 15 or so years.

After a rewarding stint at being a stay at home mom, I began a housecleaning business. Within a year, I had a flourishing, albeit, small operation with five full time employees, several part-timers and a clientele of 75 - 100. It was successful in that I was able to support my two boys and myself (I was now a single mom) yet it was far from glamorous and it was hard work. After 11 years I sold it to two of my employees and began my next transformation.

I've always been interested in clothes, so into the retail fashion world I strode, spending the next 5 years and earning the title of top salesperson in the Bay Area for this organization.

At age 62 I set out on my own as a wardrobe consultant and personal shopper. That was a fun gig and challenging, and it cured me of my love of shopping!

Enter my high school sweetheart who swept me off my feet and encouraged me to retire and move to Arizona, yet another reinvention.

And here I am writing this blog post, enjoying a wonderful community of women, making art in the form of collages and getting a kick out of life.

There's more yet to be done in my life. My next step is yet to be revealed. It's marinating.  I have a strong feeling that this little blog will be a big part of it.

xo

All Is Well

Sheltering at home, wearing masks whenever we step outside our door, watching the coronavirus numbers continue to rise, and then the heartbreaking murders of Black Americans at the hands of the ones we rely on to protect us hit all of us very hard.

Lately, whenever I spoke to my son, who lives in San Francisco, I would end up in tears. Sure, I missed him. I hadn't seen him since February. Yet he reminded me that when he was teaching in South Korea, I often didn't see him for the better part of a year. Life seemed so easy and uneventful then. I was happy for him that he was experiencing a new adventure and I was on my own path. All was well.  No major uprisings in the world, life was skipping merrily along.

When all is well, it is easier for us to be well, to feel right with the world. Now that our world has been upended, the missing of my son had become an untenable situation. It has been said that "What happens to you is far less important than how you respond to what happens to you" - Eckhart Tolle.

I had been responding to "the situation" of the pandemic and protests, looting and police brutality with anger, sadness and worry just like most people. However, a tremendous need arose that I must see Nick now.  Part of it was due to the fear that this virus very possibly may get worse before it gets better and if I don't go now, the window of opportunity may close.

My husband and I drove out to California - a 12 hour drive, long but worth it. I'm blessed that I'm able to keep an apartment in Marin County across the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco - a quick hop away from my son. Hubby was happy to get a bit of relief from the heat for a couple of days and then drove back to Arizona by himself. I will remain for a week visiting not only my son, but friends I've had here for many years.

I'm breathing easier now and it's not because of the cooler weather or the evening fog.  It's because I have seen with my own eyes that my 35 year old son is fine and doing well. As we know, we are the co-creators of our own reality, however, I had dropped down into fear rather than into thoughts of love and harmony.

After writing the above, I realized that the underlying cause of my angst about my son Nick, is also due to the death of  my oldest son, Anthony, four years ago. Oddly, I hadn't connected the dots. Yet, Anthony's death has nothing to do with Nick's health or safety, however, the bottomless pit of my mind put fear into my heart.  Amazing what writing and sharing this with you can do. It has brought me back to my senses.

It's vital for all of us to stay in gratitude and love and out of fear. As impossible as it may seem, staying in the present moment is the place where all is well.

xo

What Good Can Come of This

The title of this post What Good Can Come of This is a question I ask myself often when confronted with an untenable situation. It's quite an appropriate question to ask ourselves now in the wake of the protests, looting, police brutality and racism that has a grip on our country today.

For one thing the conversation, long buried under years of injustice, has once again been brought to the forefront. We cannot hide from it. Blacks are being singled out time and again for various reasons by  law enforcement. It is time for action. And action is being taken.

Citizens by the thousands have taken to the streets to protest calmly and passionately arm in arm with people of all colors. Police are linking arms, as well, with peaceful protesters. What a beautiful image and message. As we know the major percentage of police men and women are fair, competent, kind and also believe in justice.

I lived through the Viet Nam and civil rights movements and protests of the '60's and hoped and expected change. Unfortunately, the change did not materialize in a big way. I am more hopeful today. I expect that some good can come of this.

I will leave my thoughts there for now, as I am still processing all that has transpired over the past few weeks. We all are in pain, grief and disbelief not only from George Floyd's death, but because of all the deaths due to racism including the latest homicide of Rayshard Brooks. As we know, the deadly Covid pandemic also continues to persist.

The following quote has been asked many times over for several hundred years by mystics, leaders, and people of all walks of life, whether it pertains to something very personal as the death of a loved one or a worldwide pandemic. I heard author Elizabeth Gilbert ask this particular question in an interview a year or more ago and it is one I have asked myself in times of struggle and confusion: "What am I being asked to do and learn and grow out of this? And why is this being offered to me in this amount of pain?"

Certainly, some good can come of this.

xo

Black Lives T-shirts & Staying Fit - Part 2

I wrote this post about exercise picking, up where I left off a week or so ago, however, I could not go forward with such a lighthearted post without saying how heartbroken, confused and wondering what the heck can I do to help? One simple way I can help is by supporting Black owned businesses. The following T-shirt brands are donating their profits to places that directly benefit The George Floyd Memorial Fund, Minnesota Freedom Fund and myriad other organizations: Vagabondary/Etsy, Custom Ink, Kidsuper.com (this one has raised over $250,000 for the cause) and of course; Black Lives Matter. Buying one of these T-shirts will ensure that the profit is going to benefit those who need it. Put one on and go for your run or bike ride and know you have given to a worthy cause.

Last week I wrote about the challenge of staying fit during the pandemic. Pickle ball stopped dead in its tracks and something had to fill the void other than daily walks and hikes. So began the journey into weight lifting. Minor weights and repetitions, but hey, it's something.

Now, behold! Pickle ball is back. The lovely couple who run and organize the leagues I have played in, invited those of us that signed up for Spring League to play several days last week. The Spring League was cancelled due to the coronavirus so this was a bit of a consolation prize. I'll take it!

What a delight it was to hit that darn ball around a court and over a net. I got to play two days with people at the same level as I. How easy it was to forget what a serious workout it can be. We played almost non-stop for two hours. I certainly felt those unused muscles the next day.

 The public courts opened as well. I summoned up my courage and ventured out with a bit of trepidation. Since we had a foursome there was no need to mingle with others. We played early but even so the heat eventually got to me. I'm so thrilled to be playing once again.

If you enjoy a sport or activity and were deprived of it, the resumption of it feels like a gift. Of course, we need to employ measures to keep ourselves safe as the coronavirus has not, unfortunately, left the U.S. as yet and, in fact cases are up in some areas and appears it may be around for awhile.

The majority of the pickle ball players are over 55 or thereabouts. It's wonderful to see folks in this age group be dedicated to staying fit and running around a court like a youngster.

One of my favorite books on aging and staying fit; Younger Next Year, for Women, states repeatedly: "We can choose growth or decay. The choice we make by being sedentary or isolated is as powerful as the choice we make by exercising or connecting. The rules are straightforward: Exercise hard and you will grow younger. Care about other people and you will grow happier. Build a life that you think means something and you will grow richer." Those are the words of one of the two authors: Dr. Henry S. Lodge. And are words I live by.

xo

Read While Our Hearts are Breaking

America's heart is breaking. As though the coronavirus pandemic wasn't bad enough, now we have the murder of a black man by a policeman and the resulting protests and looting. So painful for everyone. My heart goes out to the family and all the families who have lost a loved one to police brutality and racism at the hands others.

It is important to take a bit of time from each day to reflect on what is happening and perhaps, to pray, if that is your style. We must take care of ourselves through all this despair and heartache. One way to do that is to escape through the pages of a good book. As you know, it is not a selfish thing to take time for yourself. It is a necessity.

There are quite a few books that have lingered in my memory long after I've filed them away on my bookshelf.  I'd like to share a few with you. Since we have more free time on our hands these days, why not take advantage and read an interesting story?

I'm going to share fiction and a few memoirs with you. Two of the novels are fictional/biographies. What I mean by this is the authors began with facts that are known and proceeded to build a story around the facts. A 'possibility of what may have happened' or 'what actually may have transpired' are how the authors tell their stories. Both of these novels are favorites of mine.

The first is Blonde by Joyce Carol Oates. It is said to be an historical chronicling of the inner life of  Norma Jean Baker aka Marilyn Monroe. Blonde was a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize in 2001. It has been called a "masterpiece of introspection". I have always loved and admired Ms. Oates writing and this is no exception.

My other favorite 'biographical novel' is Dancer by Colum McCann. This is an erotic telling of the amazing life of Rudolf Nureyev beginning with his early days in Russia where he was raised, to the places he lived and danced, to the social circles he navigated. It's a mesmerizing saga.

For the animal lovers out there; is Unsaid by Neil Abramson. The narrator is Helena, a veterinarian who has died but cannot move on because of the mistakes she believes she has made regarding the dogs and other animals under her care. One of them is a chimpanzee whom she helped teach sign language. I had a hard time putting this book down.

On a completely different note, I admire the books by Nelson DeMille and The Gold Coast will not disappoint. The main character, John Sutter, a partner in a distinguished New York City law firm has a new neighbor - none other than the head of one of New York's most notorious crime families. The story will amuse and confound you. And leave you wanting for more.

Two of my favorite autobiographies are by Mary Karr. The Liar's Club is her often humorous tale of her family's tendency to violence, insanity and alcoholism. She has also written Lit - an accounting of her downward spiral into alcoholism, her marriage, son and finally her triumph over her demons. I read this when it was published in 2009 and recently read it again. A story worth re-reading.

Another gem of a memoir is The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. Ms. Walls writes about her unconventional, poverty-stricken upbringing at the hands of her deeply dysfunctional parents. Despite this there was unconditional love that propelled the author to design a successful life.

I would be remiss if I did not take this opportunity to suggest reading anti-racist books. I have read only one of the books I am suggesting; "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings", but have done a bit of research and these appear to be some of the best:

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates
So You Want to Talk About Race by Ijeoma Oluo
Home by Toni Morrison (everything by Ms. Morrison is worth reading)
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
Eloquent Rage by Brittney Cooper (I plan on ordering this one)

Educating ourselves is one way to take a stand against racism.

Be kind to yourself and take time out for a good read.

xo