All Is Well

Sheltering at home, wearing masks whenever we step outside our door, watching the coronavirus numbers continue to rise, and then the heartbreaking murders of Black Americans at the hands of the ones we rely on to protect us hit all of us very hard.

Lately, whenever I spoke to my son, who lives in San Francisco, I would end up in tears. Sure, I missed him. I hadn't seen him since February. Yet he reminded me that when he was teaching in South Korea, I often didn't see him for the better part of a year. Life seemed so easy and uneventful then. I was happy for him that he was experiencing a new adventure and I was on my own path. All was well.  No major uprisings in the world, life was skipping merrily along.

When all is well, it is easier for us to be well, to feel right with the world. Now that our world has been upended, the missing of my son had become an untenable situation. It has been said that "What happens to you is far less important than how you respond to what happens to you" - Eckhart Tolle.

I had been responding to "the situation" of the pandemic and protests, looting and police brutality with anger, sadness and worry just like most people. However, a tremendous need arose that I must see Nick now.  Part of it was due to the fear that this virus very possibly may get worse before it gets better and if I don't go now, the window of opportunity may close.

My husband and I drove out to California - a 12 hour drive, long but worth it. I'm blessed that I'm able to keep an apartment in Marin County across the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco - a quick hop away from my son. Hubby was happy to get a bit of relief from the heat for a couple of days and then drove back to Arizona by himself. I will remain for a week visiting not only my son, but friends I've had here for many years.

I'm breathing easier now and it's not because of the cooler weather or the evening fog.  It's because I have seen with my own eyes that my 35 year old son is fine and doing well. As we know, we are the co-creators of our own reality, however, I had dropped down into fear rather than into thoughts of love and harmony.

After writing the above, I realized that the underlying cause of my angst about my son Nick, is also due to the death of  my oldest son, Anthony, four years ago. Oddly, I hadn't connected the dots. Yet, Anthony's death has nothing to do with Nick's health or safety, however, the bottomless pit of my mind put fear into my heart.  Amazing what writing and sharing this with you can do. It has brought me back to my senses.

It's vital for all of us to stay in gratitude and love and out of fear. As impossible as it may seem, staying in the present moment is the place where all is well.

xo