Mia and I have been friends for over 25 years. She is the friend everyone should have. She is kind, smart, giving, authentic, honest, generous, sensitive, strong, sometimes challenging but all heart.
Not only does Mia's heart show up for our friendship but she is a life long volunteer and gives her all there, as well.
Mia was a school teacher and counselor during her working years. In her volunteer life she gave her time and heart to help out in suicide prevention, working with the Soroptimists International, leading classes for the families of the mentally ill and most recently working with Hospice patients and a local group visiting the elderly. This is what I mean by "all heart".
When Mia cares about someone, she's all in. She is there for me even when I don't realize I need her help or advice. Yet she speaks and it's as if she has turned a light on a subject that she intuitively knew needed illumination. I find myself telling her about a problem that I had no intention of sharing. She has that way about her where I know she will have something enlightening to say and does.
When my son, Anthony died she was there for me every inch of the way, knowing exactly the right thing to say or at times, simply being there without saying anything. She checked on me daily for many months following his death to see if I needed a shoulder or an ear.
One of the other qualities I like about her is her honesty. Okay, maybe I don't always like her honesty! She has absolutely no qualms telling me if she thinks I'm out of line or have done something that irritated her (that rarely happens, of course!). At times I get annoyed by this attribute but in the end, I admire her for telling me her feelings outright so I always know where we stand.
Her friendship is irreplaceable. She is an exceptional, cherished friend and I love her with all my heart!
xo
Saturday, April 27, 2019
Saturday, April 20, 2019
Art Inspiration
I've always loved art; viewing it or creating it. Anything from interior decorating to floral design, from paintings to sculpture (though I have not tried this last one yet). I love visiting art galleries and museums. My favorite museums in the two places I reside are the deYoung and the Legion of Honor in San Francisco and and in Phoenix; the Phoenix Art Museum (where I'm a volunteer).
Visiting a museum or gallery is a wonderful way to pass an afternoon. I'm amazed at how an artist can create a painting that looks so life-like or one where the colors in an abstract can mesmerize. It's fascinating to me. And because of this - I want to produce art as extraordinary as these. Something to aspire to but, seriously? Probably not going to happen in my lifetime. In any event, I can keep learning and doing whatever it takes to improve.
Another thing I have explored are art books. Oh my, have I ever! Here are just a few I've read and highly recommend: Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon, Think Like an Artist by Will Gompertz, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert , The War of Art and Do the Work both by Steven Pressfield, Art and Soul Reloaded, Pam Grout, Your Inner Critic is a Big Jerk, by Danielle Krysa, 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women, Gail McMeekin and my all time favorite; The Artist's Way by the prolific talent, Julia Cameron. And those are just the books I have in Arizona. I have another assortment of books in my California home.
Yes, I am inspired, encouraged and consoled by these books but the problem arises when I spend more time reading than doing. Reading these wonderful books can also be a form of procrastination or postponement (out of fear, perhaps) of what I really want to be doing. And that's making art.
One of the solutions to this delaying tactic is to set a certain time of day for creative work. Right now my project is either writing a post for this blog or working on a collage (my latest art interests). Generally, afternoons are best for me, however, I'm going to experiment with mid-morning for my blog. Often I get a sense of what I want to write about in the morning and by the afternoon the great idea has disappeared!
The point is, if we want our talent to flourish, we must simply dive in and do the work. Books can be a great help and wellspring.......read and create!
xo
Visiting a museum or gallery is a wonderful way to pass an afternoon. I'm amazed at how an artist can create a painting that looks so life-like or one where the colors in an abstract can mesmerize. It's fascinating to me. And because of this - I want to produce art as extraordinary as these. Something to aspire to but, seriously? Probably not going to happen in my lifetime. In any event, I can keep learning and doing whatever it takes to improve.
Another thing I have explored are art books. Oh my, have I ever! Here are just a few I've read and highly recommend: Steal Like an Artist by Austin Kleon, Think Like an Artist by Will Gompertz, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert , The War of Art and Do the Work both by Steven Pressfield, Art and Soul Reloaded, Pam Grout, Your Inner Critic is a Big Jerk, by Danielle Krysa, 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women, Gail McMeekin and my all time favorite; The Artist's Way by the prolific talent, Julia Cameron. And those are just the books I have in Arizona. I have another assortment of books in my California home.
Yes, I am inspired, encouraged and consoled by these books but the problem arises when I spend more time reading than doing. Reading these wonderful books can also be a form of procrastination or postponement (out of fear, perhaps) of what I really want to be doing. And that's making art.
One of the solutions to this delaying tactic is to set a certain time of day for creative work. Right now my project is either writing a post for this blog or working on a collage (my latest art interests). Generally, afternoons are best for me, however, I'm going to experiment with mid-morning for my blog. Often I get a sense of what I want to write about in the morning and by the afternoon the great idea has disappeared!
The point is, if we want our talent to flourish, we must simply dive in and do the work. Books can be a great help and wellspring.......read and create!
xo
Friday, April 12, 2019
An Impossible Subject
One of the reasons I began this blog was to write about this very difficult subject. It's taken me 14 posts to get here. I've been avoiding it at all costs.
I suppose the primary reason is because it's painful for me. Also, it can be difficult for the reader. Often we go to books, blogs, and websites for happy or good feelings, or perhaps informative subjects...not to hear about someone else's pain.
On Halloween morning, 2015, my sister found my oldest son, Anthony, dead in my apartment. He was 36 years old. Anthony had been suffering from ulcerative colitis for ten years.
For approximately six of those years, he was able to function quite well, and had manageable flare-ups from time to time.
When his disease progressed he returned to California and stayed in my apartment. At this point I was spending most of my time in Arizona, but returned to CA often to help him and do whatever I could to make his life easier.
Anthony underwent two surgeries; one to remove his large intestine and replace it with an ileostomy bag. He had this for one year. The follow-up surgery was to make a pouch out of his small intestine to act as the large intestine. It was successful and all should have been well. However, my dear son did not follow correct protocol regarding diet and other activities and passed away from cardiac arrest.
Anthony was born and raised in California, and fishing and sailing were his life. He began his sailing adventures at age 12 through the local chapter of Sea Scouts, a branch of the Boy Scouts. He was a natural. The Sea Scout leader even gave Anthony a key (knowing his dad was working next door) to the boat so he could work on it during off-hours.
At age 22, Anthony moved to Kennebunkport, Maine and began his life as a fisherman, lobsterman, and sailor.
Anthony loved being on the ocean and loved every second he was on the sea. He made quite a few friends in Maine and was highly respected in his field and sought after by other fishermen.
During the fishing off-season, Anthony was a first mate on a large yacht owned by a wealthy businessman from New York City. He was lucky enough to sail across the Atlantic to Italy and several other European countries, as well as various Caribbean islands. This is exactly what he wanted to do at this time in his young life. He was living his dream.
My belief is that Anthony is now on to his new adventure in his new "life".
I suppose the primary reason is because it's painful for me. Also, it can be difficult for the reader. Often we go to books, blogs, and websites for happy or good feelings, or perhaps informative subjects...not to hear about someone else's pain.
On Halloween morning, 2015, my sister found my oldest son, Anthony, dead in my apartment. He was 36 years old. Anthony had been suffering from ulcerative colitis for ten years.
For approximately six of those years, he was able to function quite well, and had manageable flare-ups from time to time.
When his disease progressed he returned to California and stayed in my apartment. At this point I was spending most of my time in Arizona, but returned to CA often to help him and do whatever I could to make his life easier.
Anthony underwent two surgeries; one to remove his large intestine and replace it with an ileostomy bag. He had this for one year. The follow-up surgery was to make a pouch out of his small intestine to act as the large intestine. It was successful and all should have been well. However, my dear son did not follow correct protocol regarding diet and other activities and passed away from cardiac arrest.
Anthony was born and raised in California, and fishing and sailing were his life. He began his sailing adventures at age 12 through the local chapter of Sea Scouts, a branch of the Boy Scouts. He was a natural. The Sea Scout leader even gave Anthony a key (knowing his dad was working next door) to the boat so he could work on it during off-hours.
At age 22, Anthony moved to Kennebunkport, Maine and began his life as a fisherman, lobsterman, and sailor.
Anthony loved being on the ocean and loved every second he was on the sea. He made quite a few friends in Maine and was highly respected in his field and sought after by other fishermen.
During the fishing off-season, Anthony was a first mate on a large yacht owned by a wealthy businessman from New York City. He was lucky enough to sail across the Atlantic to Italy and several other European countries, as well as various Caribbean islands. This is exactly what he wanted to do at this time in his young life. He was living his dream.
My belief is that Anthony is now on to his new adventure in his new "life".
Friday, April 5, 2019
Hobbies and Other Activities
Hobbies and various interests and pursuits can and will change over time. When I was a young adult my favorite pastime was spending time with my sister or best friend sunning ourselves to a crispy potato chip tan. As I became independent from my parents and acquired my first apartment, interior decorating became the hobby of the moment.
I went as far as having the beautiful hardwood oak floors sanded (at my expense), hand painted stripes on the hallway walls a chocolate brown on a white background.
I purchased a used sofa and had it slip covered in a brown, black and white flower print, repainted second hand director chairs stark white and bought at an overstuffed chair at a garage sale and had it recovered as well. I added a bright white shag rug that I placed under a chrome and glass coffee table. Hey, it was the '70's!
I had so much fun decorating my home and that love has endured over the years. I've enjoyed decorating and purchasing new items and replacing (many times over) all the furniture from a one bedroom apartment to several homes with many rooms, over the years.
Besides decorating, I've taken up painting (no, not walls, but pictures). I began with watercolors. No one told me that this medium is the most difficult. I was working full time and took a non-credit class at the local college. Eventually, I moved on to acrylics as I learned they are much more forgiving. If I didn't like it, I simply painted over that sucker and started anew! So much better than being frustrated with watercolors and wasting money on paper I tossed away. Perhaps one day I'll try watercolors again (or not).
Besides artistic endeavors, I was a so-so tennis player, but loved the sport, until my knees gave out. Same with running. I started running at age 37 and ran well into my 50"s. After two knee replacements that activity was sidelined.
I learned to love hiking and walking my neighborhood and exploring other areas I was unfamiliar with and this was more gentle on my knees.
Back to painting in the early 2000's. I painted mostly from photos of landscapes I'd taken or inspiration of paintings I'd seen in galleries or museums. I never loved the process as that critical voice kept interfering but I persisted. And, oddly, I produced some rather nice work.
Due to life getting a bit complicated with marriage concerns, my painting dropped off and I eventually gave it up entirely.
It's been almost 10 years since I created art and things are turning around in that area. I recently finished two collages. I love them! And love the process. It's so much easier than creating a painting that I expect to look somewhat realistic (I'm not an abstract painter) even though I am applying paint. I had a theme in mind (my older son) and used stencils, copies of his handwriting from cards he sent me over the years, bits of newspaper print and other odd pieces of paper. The process is not always easy, depending on the subject matter, of course, but cathartic and healing. And since it is abstract, the critic is quieted more easily. I plan on continuing with collage and my next one will be about my younger son.
My other newest activity is pickleball. All I can say about this is that it is a hoot! I'm taking lessons, purchased a decent paddle and balls and soon hope to play beyond the lessons (if my girlfriends cooperate!)
Life is good especially when we keep learning and experiment with new ideas, places, people and activities.
xo
I went as far as having the beautiful hardwood oak floors sanded (at my expense), hand painted stripes on the hallway walls a chocolate brown on a white background.
I purchased a used sofa and had it slip covered in a brown, black and white flower print, repainted second hand director chairs stark white and bought at an overstuffed chair at a garage sale and had it recovered as well. I added a bright white shag rug that I placed under a chrome and glass coffee table. Hey, it was the '70's!
I had so much fun decorating my home and that love has endured over the years. I've enjoyed decorating and purchasing new items and replacing (many times over) all the furniture from a one bedroom apartment to several homes with many rooms, over the years.
Besides decorating, I've taken up painting (no, not walls, but pictures). I began with watercolors. No one told me that this medium is the most difficult. I was working full time and took a non-credit class at the local college. Eventually, I moved on to acrylics as I learned they are much more forgiving. If I didn't like it, I simply painted over that sucker and started anew! So much better than being frustrated with watercolors and wasting money on paper I tossed away. Perhaps one day I'll try watercolors again (or not).
Besides artistic endeavors, I was a so-so tennis player, but loved the sport, until my knees gave out. Same with running. I started running at age 37 and ran well into my 50"s. After two knee replacements that activity was sidelined.
I learned to love hiking and walking my neighborhood and exploring other areas I was unfamiliar with and this was more gentle on my knees.
Back to painting in the early 2000's. I painted mostly from photos of landscapes I'd taken or inspiration of paintings I'd seen in galleries or museums. I never loved the process as that critical voice kept interfering but I persisted. And, oddly, I produced some rather nice work.
Due to life getting a bit complicated with marriage concerns, my painting dropped off and I eventually gave it up entirely.
It's been almost 10 years since I created art and things are turning around in that area. I recently finished two collages. I love them! And love the process. It's so much easier than creating a painting that I expect to look somewhat realistic (I'm not an abstract painter) even though I am applying paint. I had a theme in mind (my older son) and used stencils, copies of his handwriting from cards he sent me over the years, bits of newspaper print and other odd pieces of paper. The process is not always easy, depending on the subject matter, of course, but cathartic and healing. And since it is abstract, the critic is quieted more easily. I plan on continuing with collage and my next one will be about my younger son.
My other newest activity is pickleball. All I can say about this is that it is a hoot! I'm taking lessons, purchased a decent paddle and balls and soon hope to play beyond the lessons (if my girlfriends cooperate!)
Life is good especially when we keep learning and experiment with new ideas, places, people and activities.
xo
Thursday, March 28, 2019
The Fruits of My Morning Routine
Several months ago I started a new morning routine based on The Miracle Morning book. It suggests beginning one's morning on the right footing results in a more productive day, and I am seeing the wisdom in this. It now seems so obvious. Clearly rising an hour earlier anyone would accomplish more, but the actual results of this hour are far more than simply an hour's worth of work.
It is the way the day begins that makes the difference. Embarking on a day with a clear intention and focused mind sets me up for a successful day.
By starting with a 10-20 minute meditation, reading a spiritual or other uplifting book for 10 minutes, visualizing my long term goals, verbalizing my affirmations and journaling; inspire, motivate and energize me so that I am looking forward to my first activity of the day.
Now it's time for exercise and off I go to either the gym for a class or a hike up the mountain with my dear friend Shannon and sometimes my sweet Golden Retriever accompanies us.
After that daily chores are on the roster and even these are more bearable having had a great morning start.
The afternoon is usually time for some creative endeavor. I've recently taken up a new form of art for me; collage. I've completed two, both of them about my oldest son. Previously, I painted landscapes and still lifes but haven't picked up a paint brush in close to 10 years. Obviously, as you can see, I've begun a blog. I'd been procrastinating on this for several years and being alcohol free plus my morning routine has given me space in my brain for these new hobbies. In addition, I've taken pickle ball lessons and plan on continuing that. Who knew that at my age I'd find so many new ways to grow and learn and appreciate life!
I'm sure my husband hopes that my love for cooking will return - thus far it hasn't! Poor guy. I've told him how in my younger years and when my boys were little I loved to cook gourmet meals. I'm sorry but my new hubby most likely will not experience that in this marriage. Hey, my hobbies take up a lot of time!
I'm enjoying life and the fruits of my morning routine and sobriety make it all possible.
xo
It is the way the day begins that makes the difference. Embarking on a day with a clear intention and focused mind sets me up for a successful day.
By starting with a 10-20 minute meditation, reading a spiritual or other uplifting book for 10 minutes, visualizing my long term goals, verbalizing my affirmations and journaling; inspire, motivate and energize me so that I am looking forward to my first activity of the day.
Now it's time for exercise and off I go to either the gym for a class or a hike up the mountain with my dear friend Shannon and sometimes my sweet Golden Retriever accompanies us.
After that daily chores are on the roster and even these are more bearable having had a great morning start.
The afternoon is usually time for some creative endeavor. I've recently taken up a new form of art for me; collage. I've completed two, both of them about my oldest son. Previously, I painted landscapes and still lifes but haven't picked up a paint brush in close to 10 years. Obviously, as you can see, I've begun a blog. I'd been procrastinating on this for several years and being alcohol free plus my morning routine has given me space in my brain for these new hobbies. In addition, I've taken pickle ball lessons and plan on continuing that. Who knew that at my age I'd find so many new ways to grow and learn and appreciate life!
I'm sure my husband hopes that my love for cooking will return - thus far it hasn't! Poor guy. I've told him how in my younger years and when my boys were little I loved to cook gourmet meals. I'm sorry but my new hubby most likely will not experience that in this marriage. Hey, my hobbies take up a lot of time!
I'm enjoying life and the fruits of my morning routine and sobriety make it all possible.
xo
Thursday, March 21, 2019
My Morning Routine
This may sound like an odd thing to write about, but honestly, changing my morning routine has made a huge difference in my life. I now am able to accomplish so much more than I had before adopting this practice. Yes, I am getting up a bit earlier and it is well worth it. I've had various morning routines before but abandoned them for one reason or another. This one infuses my day with purpose, discipline and direction.
I came upon the book The Miracle Morning for Addition Recovery written by Hal Elrod, Anna David and Joe Polish. There are several versions of The Miracle Morning but since I was questioning my drinking, this one resonated with me. (I have since given up alcohol completely).
The Miracle Morning (the actual morning not the book) revolves around the acronym S.A.V.E.R.S. The S is for Silence, either simply sitting in silence for 10-20 minutes or meditation, prayer, gratitude, deep breathing, etc. I often use a guided meditation for the first 10 minutes and then silent meditation for 10 minutes.
The A is for Affirmations. As you probably know, affirmations have been around for a long time and have been proven to work provided you are not simply affirming the end result. You must state how you will achieve your goal and see yourself in action taking the steps necessary to produce the desired result. You can create your own to coincide with your goals and intentions or use the ones provided by Miracle Morning. I do both.
V is for Visualization. Simply sitting quietly visualizing what you intend to create either in your day or more long-term. I tend to visualize as I affirm aloud what it is that I want to produce.
E is for Exercise. The suggestion is to get at least 10 minutes of jumping jacks or other cardio in right away. Personally, I put exercise as the last thing in my Miracle Morning after completing the other parts of SAVERS, as I exercise for 30-60 minutes daily and the MM routine is suggested for the first hour of your day.
Then comes R for Reading. A spiritual or uplifting book is what I gravitate to or you could choose one that motivates you to reach your goals.
And finally S is for Scribing or journaling. I have been keeping a journal for well over 25 years and as a child kept a diary. My thoughts, feelings, gratitude all make into my journal. Often, as I write, insights I'd hadn't anticipated pop into my mind, along with clarity and appreciation for all I have.
So, what time do I awake to begin my morning? When I first began I started at 6:00. It's not always easy, especially during the winter when it is quite dark and cold. I do use an alarm though my body clock is beginning to adjust and often I wake before it goes off. Just this week I have changed my time to 5:45. Yes, it's still dark at that hour even now with spring approaching. I light a candle and begin with my meditation and my day is now underway.
I'd love to hear from you regarding your morning routine and how it helps jump start your day.
xo
I came upon the book The Miracle Morning for Addition Recovery written by Hal Elrod, Anna David and Joe Polish. There are several versions of The Miracle Morning but since I was questioning my drinking, this one resonated with me. (I have since given up alcohol completely).
The Miracle Morning (the actual morning not the book) revolves around the acronym S.A.V.E.R.S. The S is for Silence, either simply sitting in silence for 10-20 minutes or meditation, prayer, gratitude, deep breathing, etc. I often use a guided meditation for the first 10 minutes and then silent meditation for 10 minutes.
The A is for Affirmations. As you probably know, affirmations have been around for a long time and have been proven to work provided you are not simply affirming the end result. You must state how you will achieve your goal and see yourself in action taking the steps necessary to produce the desired result. You can create your own to coincide with your goals and intentions or use the ones provided by Miracle Morning. I do both.
V is for Visualization. Simply sitting quietly visualizing what you intend to create either in your day or more long-term. I tend to visualize as I affirm aloud what it is that I want to produce.
E is for Exercise. The suggestion is to get at least 10 minutes of jumping jacks or other cardio in right away. Personally, I put exercise as the last thing in my Miracle Morning after completing the other parts of SAVERS, as I exercise for 30-60 minutes daily and the MM routine is suggested for the first hour of your day.
Then comes R for Reading. A spiritual or uplifting book is what I gravitate to or you could choose one that motivates you to reach your goals.
And finally S is for Scribing or journaling. I have been keeping a journal for well over 25 years and as a child kept a diary. My thoughts, feelings, gratitude all make into my journal. Often, as I write, insights I'd hadn't anticipated pop into my mind, along with clarity and appreciation for all I have.
So, what time do I awake to begin my morning? When I first began I started at 6:00. It's not always easy, especially during the winter when it is quite dark and cold. I do use an alarm though my body clock is beginning to adjust and often I wake before it goes off. Just this week I have changed my time to 5:45. Yes, it's still dark at that hour even now with spring approaching. I light a candle and begin with my meditation and my day is now underway.
I'd love to hear from you regarding your morning routine and how it helps jump start your day.
xo
Friday, March 15, 2019
My Creative Friends
Somewhere around 20 years ago - none of us really is sure how long it's been, a friendship formed. There were six of us originally. We met at an Artist's Way class at a local high school in Mill Valley, CA. Each one of us there to either discover a hidden talent, find a creative outlet or help decide if we were on the right path.
The class followed Julia Cameron's book and I highly recommend the book or better yet, a class if there is one near you.
There were approximately 20 people in the class and over the course of the 12 week program, the six of us gravitated toward each other, sharing our experiences as we did our homework and exercises.
After the class ended we decided to get together for a hike. One of the six dropped out not long after as one of the tenets that brought us together was complete honesty and sadly she wasn't able to fully comply.
We developed a friendship that has grown and nurtured into a true sisterhood.
Another friend from the group moved out of state, quit her insurance company job and is now a full time collage artist.
Now we are four. And we are a close tightly knit group. I, too, have moved but Arizona is not that far and I return to California every other month or so. We always arrange to get together for lunch and/or a hike.
The four of us have been a tremendous support system to one another. We all share the same spiritual beliefs and one of them is the love and desire to learn and grow. We believe that God (the Universe, Spirit, whatever name you choose to use) wants us to be happy and to evolve into our best selves.
Meredith is a full time artist teaching mentally challenged adults, Jennifer is a highly sought after chef with a catering business and Jill is a compassionate and insightful therapist with a thriving practice.
I retired and dabbled in several "hobbies". I've (obviously) started this blog, taken pickle ball lessons, and most recently enrolled in a collage class and just yesterday finished my first "masterpiece"! In addition, I've been replacing furniture that no longer suits me and little by little (hopefully) I will have replaced most of it.
My life is so enriched by this friendship and I have learned so much from each of them and I'm sure they appreciate me for my contribution to their lives, as well. A true collaboration of like minds and a blessing for all of us.
xo
The class followed Julia Cameron's book and I highly recommend the book or better yet, a class if there is one near you.
There were approximately 20 people in the class and over the course of the 12 week program, the six of us gravitated toward each other, sharing our experiences as we did our homework and exercises.
After the class ended we decided to get together for a hike. One of the six dropped out not long after as one of the tenets that brought us together was complete honesty and sadly she wasn't able to fully comply.
We developed a friendship that has grown and nurtured into a true sisterhood.
Another friend from the group moved out of state, quit her insurance company job and is now a full time collage artist.
Now we are four. And we are a close tightly knit group. I, too, have moved but Arizona is not that far and I return to California every other month or so. We always arrange to get together for lunch and/or a hike.
The four of us have been a tremendous support system to one another. We all share the same spiritual beliefs and one of them is the love and desire to learn and grow. We believe that God (the Universe, Spirit, whatever name you choose to use) wants us to be happy and to evolve into our best selves.
Meredith is a full time artist teaching mentally challenged adults, Jennifer is a highly sought after chef with a catering business and Jill is a compassionate and insightful therapist with a thriving practice.
I retired and dabbled in several "hobbies". I've (obviously) started this blog, taken pickle ball lessons, and most recently enrolled in a collage class and just yesterday finished my first "masterpiece"! In addition, I've been replacing furniture that no longer suits me and little by little (hopefully) I will have replaced most of it.
My life is so enriched by this friendship and I have learned so much from each of them and I'm sure they appreciate me for my contribution to their lives, as well. A true collaboration of like minds and a blessing for all of us.
xo
Friday, March 8, 2019
My Oldest Friend
In my last post I wrote about Shannon, a new friend I made in the past couple of years since moving to Arizona.
Today I'd like to introduce you to Cindy - my oldest (not as in age but in the years we've known one another) friend. Cindy and I met 37 years ago when I moved from Marin County, CA to Nevada City, CA. Nevada City is a sweet town in the Sierra Nevada foothills, less than an hour from Lake Tahoe. It was a gold mining town back in the 1800's - the Gold Rush days. The population when we lived there was around 3500 and it's not a whole lot more today.
Cindy and I were both stay at home moms and were so lucky to live next door to one another - though next door meant at least an acre of woods between us. We lived on a small mountain known as Banner Mountain and it was beautifully forested with old abandoned gold mines dotted throughout, including on our properties.
My oldest son was 3 and Cindy's son was 4 when I moved there. The boys immediately became best friends and spent endless hours together exploring the forest together.
Four years later, my husband, unfortunately, decided to change employers again, and back to Marin we went. However, those 4 years were wonderful for not only Cindy and I, but or our boys as well.
Not shortly after we left Nevada City, Cindy and her son came to visit and there began many years of she and I driving back and forth to spend weekends together - both for us and the boys. This continued for over 10 years; until the boys were off on their own with college and other adventures.
Cindy and I continued the round trips spending weekends together. All those sleepovers brought us much closer than we would have been if we simply stayed neighbors. We celebrated our birthdays, holidays, took art classes, vacations both with the boys and without and had many funny escapades.
Since I am now in Arizona our visits are fewer, however, we do still see one another at least twice a year. She is still one of my dearest friends and always will be. There is no way to replace a friend like that. Cindy has seen me through divorce, death, new marriages and more and I have been lucky enough to share with her, the marriages of her son and daughter, college graduation and the birth of her grandchildren. There are far too many occasions to name. She and I will be friends as long as we're alive and I consider myself so blessed to have her.
xo
Today I'd like to introduce you to Cindy - my oldest (not as in age but in the years we've known one another) friend. Cindy and I met 37 years ago when I moved from Marin County, CA to Nevada City, CA. Nevada City is a sweet town in the Sierra Nevada foothills, less than an hour from Lake Tahoe. It was a gold mining town back in the 1800's - the Gold Rush days. The population when we lived there was around 3500 and it's not a whole lot more today.
Cindy and I were both stay at home moms and were so lucky to live next door to one another - though next door meant at least an acre of woods between us. We lived on a small mountain known as Banner Mountain and it was beautifully forested with old abandoned gold mines dotted throughout, including on our properties.
My oldest son was 3 and Cindy's son was 4 when I moved there. The boys immediately became best friends and spent endless hours together exploring the forest together.
Four years later, my husband, unfortunately, decided to change employers again, and back to Marin we went. However, those 4 years were wonderful for not only Cindy and I, but or our boys as well.
Not shortly after we left Nevada City, Cindy and her son came to visit and there began many years of she and I driving back and forth to spend weekends together - both for us and the boys. This continued for over 10 years; until the boys were off on their own with college and other adventures.
Cindy and I continued the round trips spending weekends together. All those sleepovers brought us much closer than we would have been if we simply stayed neighbors. We celebrated our birthdays, holidays, took art classes, vacations both with the boys and without and had many funny escapades.
Since I am now in Arizona our visits are fewer, however, we do still see one another at least twice a year. She is still one of my dearest friends and always will be. There is no way to replace a friend like that. Cindy has seen me through divorce, death, new marriages and more and I have been lucky enough to share with her, the marriages of her son and daughter, college graduation and the birth of her grandchildren. There are far too many occasions to name. She and I will be friends as long as we're alive and I consider myself so blessed to have her.
xo
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
A New Friendship Later in Life
As a young adult it's easy to make friends as we have many opportunities to meet people. Most of us are either working or are stay at home moms - both ideal situations to make friends. At work, it's obvious. There will be other women there (unless, of course, it is a one woman office) and a man can be a good friend, too. If we are staying home raising our children, there are many places to meet other moms: scouts, sports, school, etc.
But what happens when our children are grown and on their own? If we're fortunate, we still have some of the friends we made when our children were little or when we were working. Often though, some move, pass away or we simply outgrow one another. Then what?
I'm blessed to have wonderful friends in California where I lived for over 40 years. However, 5 1/2 years ago I moved to Arizona to join my sweetheart and I spend about 90% of my time there now.
I've made friends with several lovely women, wives of my husbands' friends, however, they are either not that close by or travel a great deal or already have dear friends and spend their time with them.
Three years ago I met a neighbor at a party. She also is retired, one of the only in my neighborhood. We exchanged phone numbers but it took us 6 months after our initial meeting to actually get together. One day we decided to go for a morning walk. Now we walk, hike or go to the gym together nearly every day. Not only has she become an exercise partner, but a dear friend and confidant and honestly, I wouldn't know what to do without her! We talk about our problems (and blessedly they are few), issues with relatives, dinner ideas, vacation plans - well, you name it! There's very little we don't share. Having Shannon as a friend makes all the difference in how I feel about living here. A woman needs more than a husband with which to share her life. The connection and warmth I have with Shannon fills me with happiness and the knowing that she is there for me and I for her.
xo
But what happens when our children are grown and on their own? If we're fortunate, we still have some of the friends we made when our children were little or when we were working. Often though, some move, pass away or we simply outgrow one another. Then what?
I'm blessed to have wonderful friends in California where I lived for over 40 years. However, 5 1/2 years ago I moved to Arizona to join my sweetheart and I spend about 90% of my time there now.
I've made friends with several lovely women, wives of my husbands' friends, however, they are either not that close by or travel a great deal or already have dear friends and spend their time with them.
Three years ago I met a neighbor at a party. She also is retired, one of the only in my neighborhood. We exchanged phone numbers but it took us 6 months after our initial meeting to actually get together. One day we decided to go for a morning walk. Now we walk, hike or go to the gym together nearly every day. Not only has she become an exercise partner, but a dear friend and confidant and honestly, I wouldn't know what to do without her! We talk about our problems (and blessedly they are few), issues with relatives, dinner ideas, vacation plans - well, you name it! There's very little we don't share. Having Shannon as a friend makes all the difference in how I feel about living here. A woman needs more than a husband with which to share her life. The connection and warmth I have with Shannon fills me with happiness and the knowing that she is there for me and I for her.
xo
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Acknowledgements
In my last post I mentioned three books that helped me immensely in my quest to be alcohol free. However, there are several blogs that were of great support and inspiration and I continue to read them on a regular basis. Some of them are: Soberistas.com, Tiredofthinkingaboutdrinking.com, mummywasasecretdrinker.com, sexysobriety.com and Thisnakedmind.com. They are a constant reminder to me of why I stopped drinking and the stories of women sharing their journeys is motivating and encouraging.
In addition to the three books in my post "Alcohol Free" published yesterday, further books that were of great assistance were: Mrs. D. is Going Without by Lotta Dann, Blackout by Sarah Hepola and Nothing Good Can Come of This by Kristi Coulter. There are several others. I believe this list is a good start for anyone thinking about giving up the drink.
I wish you the best in your exploration of the possibility of sobriety and would love to hear from you.
xo
In addition to the three books in my post "Alcohol Free" published yesterday, further books that were of great assistance were: Mrs. D. is Going Without by Lotta Dann, Blackout by Sarah Hepola and Nothing Good Can Come of This by Kristi Coulter. There are several others. I believe this list is a good start for anyone thinking about giving up the drink.
I wish you the best in your exploration of the possibility of sobriety and would love to hear from you.
xo
Monday, February 18, 2019
Alcohol Free
In my previous three posts I gave you a peek into my drinking saga - from it's beginning many years ago to the very recent past. And finally, I have found the solution. I must, want and will abstain completely from alcohol. On September 12, 2018 I imbibed for the last time. I prepared myself for my final nights of indulging by having my last Manhattan on September 11 and my last Cosmo on September 12, my two all time favorite drinks. I decided I wanted to exit the hamster wheel without regrets. And that I did.
I also read a small bookstore's worth of various tomes on how to quit drinking, why we should not drink, the signs of addiction, women and alcohol, etc. etc. Some of my favorites and most informative are: Allen Carr's "Stop Drinking the Easy Way," Jason Vale's" Kick the Drink...Easily" and Annie Grace's "This Naked Mind", plus many autobiographies written by women addicted to alcohol who have successfully forsaken drinking and have found peace and joy in the sober life.
It has been over 5 months without a drop, sip or taste and I am thrilled to tell you life has never been better. No, it hasn't been a walk in the park and I'd be remiss if I didn't say there were many, and still are days when I really would like a lovely glass of Chardonnay, but I know that for me, that would be a glass I would regret.
I survived Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and my birthday without a drink, and though I would have liked to enjoy one, I knew it would be a mistake. When I went to bed on those nights I was thrilled and proud of myself for having had the willpower and determination to pass on the alcohol.
I have come to see myself as one who's days of enjoying alcohol are now behind me. I realize that I am one of those people who cannot take it or leave it. I am one who has a glass of wine and wants another. No point whining (pun intended) about it. That is who I am and I accept it.
I didn't realize that my brain was fuzzy and unclear a good part of my day due to having wine or cocktails the night before. I chalked quite a bit of this up to "allergies". Now, after five months, I have a clarity I'd only heard about, but didn't understand. No more fuzzy brain. No more tired, lethargic days. I not only have energy on less sleep but my enthusiasm and zest for life has returned. I'm actually writing a blog that I've been procrastinating on for several years. I wouldn't trade this euphoric feeling for any drink in the world. Yes, I still have bad days where things don't always go my way. But, that is part of the human experience and I am happy to enjoy all of it as a non-drinking woman!
xo
I also read a small bookstore's worth of various tomes on how to quit drinking, why we should not drink, the signs of addiction, women and alcohol, etc. etc. Some of my favorites and most informative are: Allen Carr's "Stop Drinking the Easy Way," Jason Vale's" Kick the Drink...Easily" and Annie Grace's "This Naked Mind", plus many autobiographies written by women addicted to alcohol who have successfully forsaken drinking and have found peace and joy in the sober life.
It has been over 5 months without a drop, sip or taste and I am thrilled to tell you life has never been better. No, it hasn't been a walk in the park and I'd be remiss if I didn't say there were many, and still are days when I really would like a lovely glass of Chardonnay, but I know that for me, that would be a glass I would regret.
I survived Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's and my birthday without a drink, and though I would have liked to enjoy one, I knew it would be a mistake. When I went to bed on those nights I was thrilled and proud of myself for having had the willpower and determination to pass on the alcohol.
I have come to see myself as one who's days of enjoying alcohol are now behind me. I realize that I am one of those people who cannot take it or leave it. I am one who has a glass of wine and wants another. No point whining (pun intended) about it. That is who I am and I accept it.
I didn't realize that my brain was fuzzy and unclear a good part of my day due to having wine or cocktails the night before. I chalked quite a bit of this up to "allergies". Now, after five months, I have a clarity I'd only heard about, but didn't understand. No more fuzzy brain. No more tired, lethargic days. I not only have energy on less sleep but my enthusiasm and zest for life has returned. I'm actually writing a blog that I've been procrastinating on for several years. I wouldn't trade this euphoric feeling for any drink in the world. Yes, I still have bad days where things don't always go my way. But, that is part of the human experience and I am happy to enjoy all of it as a non-drinking woman!
xo
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