A Little More About Resistance

In my last post I wrote how I meet resistance whenever I want to create a piece of art. This is especially true when the art is being made for someone else - "commissioned" so to speak. Even when that someone is my son.

My son, Nick, gave me quite a few items he would like me to incorporate in a collage for him. I have tried several times to complete this artwork, however, I have yet to be satisfied with the results. Rather than destroy it completely, I cut it up, saving the important pieces in order to use in the next endeavor. But still, not happy with the result, I toss it aside until I marshal up my courage for my next attempt. Thankfully, he's a patient guy.

I will get back to it, I promise myself.

In a conversation I had today with my dear friend, Jennifer, she suggested that perhaps the time simply is not right for this piece to be completed. Maybe I should wait until the time feels right. I value her opinion and this idea is so true in many instances, however, I cannot use this as my reason for not completing Nick's collage. It's that old familiar insidious fear rearing its ugly head. As Steven Pressfield writes in The War of Art: "Master that fear and we conquer Resistance".

How do you deal with resistance? Is there something you would love to do - perhaps try scuba diving,  show your photographs at the State Fair, climb the highest mountain in your state? Are you able to dive right in? Fill out the entry forms for the show at the Fair? Gather supplies for that challenging mountain? Or do you do a bit of research first?  After all, we need to gather information before we take on a new challenge or adventure, don't we?  Is this valid knowledge we're collecting or resistance?

As Mr. Pressfield knowingly observes: "Resistance obstructs movement only from a lower sphere to a higher. It kicks in when we seek to pursue a calling in the arts, launch an innovative enterprise, or evolve to a higher station morally, ethically, or spiritually".  That explanation makes a lot of sense to me.

xo

Procrastination and Resistance

I can be a procrastinator. No, not in everything - but certain things. Those icky things that need to be done but are a big pain in the butt. For example; cleaning the refrigerator - no I don't mean just dumping the food that has turned into a science experiment.  I'm talking about the major cleaning, as in removing the shelves, veggie, fruit and meat drawers.  Soaking them to remove the gunk - that sort of thing. There's no valid reason for postponing this, other than it's a job and a tedious one if left undone for too long.

Then there is the sort of procrastination that is due to fear. It's known as resistance. One of my biggest fears is creating art. I absolutely love art. All forms. Creating it is another story.

My father was an artist until I was born when he decided he could not support the family being a working artist. Our family, at that time, consisted of my mom, my sister who was a year old when I was born and my dad, of course.

I suspect he was bitter about this, giving up a vocation that he loved after graduating from art school.

When I was around seven or eight, after proudly unveiling a painting I made, my dad matter-of-factly said; you're smart but you have no talent so don't think you can be an artist. Be a lawyer or teacher instead.

I bought into the idea that I had not one iota of talent. When I was 50 years old or so, I decided it was time to give up that old story. After all, I'd already proven that I could decorate a home beautifully, (several of them by this point), to the extent that friends would ask for help or advice with their decorating projects. That's talent, no? And I was often complimented about my clothing outfits. I could manage to dress well, wasn't that talent? I could set a beautiful tablescape and cook a lovely meal when hosting a dinner party. Again, that takes a bit of creativity, as well. So what's up with holding onto something my father said 40 years ago?

I love what Pam Grout says in Art & Soul Reloaded: "Talent is like an underwater stream - equally available to everyone. You tap into it with your effort, and it flows through you".

Yes, it was time to let go of that old baggage and into art I delved. I signed up for ongoing weekly classes, and as a result painted quite a few pieces that are decent enough that they're hanging in my home. I am proud of this accomplishment.

However, when I decide I'd like to create a new piece of art is where resistance kicks in. I am going to begin that new painting, I'm just going to start tomorrow. Resistance is primarily fear saying; run for the hills. It is said that the more important a call or action is to our soul's evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward pursuing it.

I felt a calling to create a collage in honor of my son, Anthony, who passed away at age 36, over four years ago. It took a huge amount of time to even muster up the courage to begin. Once I began, things did not move along smoothly. However, torrents of tears and a massive amount of resistance later, a piece of art emerged that I absolutely love. The collage contains pieces of notes and cards from him that he gave me throughout the years and other aspects of this precious soul that establishes this collage as priceless.

I plan on making a collage for my younger son, Nick. He's already supplied me with various elements he'd like me to include in it. Again, fear is showing up in the form of resistance. I'd like to break through this resistance and  overcome my fear of beginning this project. Yet in my heart I know that the only way to overcome fear is to proceed despite it.

xo

Reinventing Ourselves

Reinvent now? I know, we're in the middle of a pandemic. Who has the interest or desire to think about reinventing ourselves? Isn't it enough that we're confined to our homes and when we do dare emerge into the outdoors, we must mask up? We're stressed. Bored. Listless. However, we do still have a life. And we are alive and for the most part, if you're reading this, healthy.

So what better time than now to give some thought as to what may lie ahead. Many of my readers are already retired or contemplating it or preparing to retire at some time in the near future.

And even if you are not ready for retirement, you may be ready for something new. Something that perhaps you have always wanted to do? Or something that of late, has caught your interest and you're wondering if it is something you may want to try? Sometimes it's best to let an idea incubate before rushing into it. Or perhaps the time is now to kick the tires on that new inspiration.

Twenty plus years ago I met several women at an Artist's Way class, (based on the book by Julia Cameron). By the end of the class Jennifer, Jill and I had become fast friends.

The purpose of this class was to reconnect us to - or help us discover - our creativity.

During this time, Jill was working for an insurance company and studying for her master's degree in psychology with an emphasis on coaching. After earning her degree she and her husband set up an office working together. They had a robust practice for several years when Jill decided to enroll in a year long program to help her redirect her focus to helping her clients achieve or discover a dream they have or may not yet have discovered. This shift has energized Jill and her business has taken on a new life.

Jennifer had a glimmer of an idea that she might like to become a chef. After the 12 week Artist's Way class was over, she enrolled in culinary school and after graduation began what was to become an exceedingly  successful catering business.  Fast forward 18 years, the coronavirus hits and she can no longer continue catering weddings and other parties that had become her forte.

Jennifer realized this was an unexpected gift. She observed that in the recesses of her mind, she was questioning if catering still held the same interest it once had. After some reflection, she came to the conclusion, that as unlikely as it seemed, she enjoyed keeping the books for her husband's thriving photography business. She is now investigating the possibility of bookkeeping as a part time career.

It took some time for me to settle into my new retired lifestyle in Arizona, make new friends and find my way around. Now that I've been settled for several years I have discovered that the possibilities are endless. I'm enjoying figuring it all out, experimenting with new forms of art and generally noticing what grabs my attention. Of course, much of it will need to wait until life returns to some semblance of normalcy.

What possibilities are about to float your boat?

"A ship is always safe at shore but that's not what it's built for" - Albert Einstein.

Where and when will your ship sail?

xo

Reinvention on a Dairy Ranch

West Marin County, CA is gorgeous, pastoral and dotted with dairy farms. One of the most prolific and successful was the Giacomini Dairy in Point Reyes owned by Bob and his wife, Dean Giacomini. When Dean died, Bob was looking to retire but didn't want to sell his farm that he had for 54 years. He hoped it could be carried on for another 54, however, the milk business was getting more difficult. Bob had the idea of producing cheese.

He called his four daughters home for a meeting, all of whom had careers scattered throughout Northern California. None of them ever had an interest in dairy farming, however, the cheese idea sparked an interest, in addition to their desire for the farm to continue on.

As Jane Pauley tells the story; "with the support of husbands and brothers-in-law, affectionately known as the "outlaws", all four girls helped Bob reinvent the Giacomini Dairy as they reinvented themselves. They were all 'paid in cheese' for the first five years. It was a financial gamble and a lot of work, but it's paid off." Ms. Pauley relates that she saw a salad garnished with Point Reyes blue cheese on the menu at a fancy New York restaurant.

Point Reyes Cheese won two SOFI awards (often described as the Oscars for food) in New York City. All four of the daughters had busy careers, Jill had a Silicon Valley job, Karen was a stay at home mom, Diane had a 20 year career as a banker and Lynn was in the wine industry. Now all four have happily reinvented themselves as awarding winning cheesemakers.

There is another reinvention taking place as retirement age approaches and generally, that is around age 66-67, depending on your year of birth. However, many folks are continuing to work because they truly enjoy it. Others are planning on retiring as soon as they are able. As Marc Middleton writes in Growing Bolder: "There's certainly nothing wrong with - and much that is beneficial about - ending a career, slowing down, relaxing, reflecting and re-prioritizing. But doing so should't lead to the end of a productive, engaging and meaningful life. Retirement isn't the beginning of the end. It's the beginning of what's next. And, once again, you get to choose what's next. " And I say - how exciting to add a new chapter!

xo

My Reinventions

I'd like to begin a conversation on reinvention. In upcoming posts, I'll tell you about several amazing women who reinvented themselves in midlife or later, but first, I thought I'd share a little about my professional past and my hopes for the future.

My goal is to live well into my 90's - maybe even 100. It's not impossible. Many before me have done it.  Of course, that's provided I take extraordinary care of myself. I exercise aerobically six days a week, lift weights (at home) two to three times a week, and stretch and do a bit of yoga and other functional exercises on other days. I am careful (most of the time) of what foods go into my body, keep a community of family and friends and have a spiritual life. In addition, I am endlessly curious about a myriad of subjects. All of these activities and behaviors are said to help lengthen one's life and keep us vital and active. All of us can live a long, productive, purposeful life, provided, of course, we are fortunate to escape the unpredictable injury or illness.

I have been a creature of reinvention my entire adult life. I did not ever have an occupation, that I wanted to turn into a lifelong career. In the past I envied those of you who had a calling or profession that was fulfilling.

My first job was with a large insurance company in New Jersey, where I was born and resided in until age 27 when I took a leap and moved to Marin County, California, a short jaunt across the Golden Gate Bridge from San Francisco. I remained in that general field, after moving, working first for the president of another insurance company and when he retired, administrative assistant to a financial planner. That covered the first 15 or so years.

After a rewarding stint at being a stay at home mom, I began a housecleaning business. Within a year, I had a flourishing, albeit, small operation with five full time employees, several part-timers and a clientele of 75 - 100. It was successful in that I was able to support my two boys and myself (I was now a single mom) yet it was far from glamorous and it was hard work. After 11 years I sold it to two of my employees and began my next transformation.

I've always been interested in clothes, so into the retail fashion world I strode, spending the next 5 years and earning the title of top salesperson in the Bay Area for this organization.

At age 62 I set out on my own as a wardrobe consultant and personal shopper. That was a fun gig and challenging, and it cured me of my love of shopping!

Enter my high school sweetheart who swept me off my feet and encouraged me to retire and move to Arizona, yet another reinvention.

And here I am writing this blog post, enjoying a wonderful community of women, making art in the form of collages and getting a kick out of life.

There's more yet to be done in my life. My next step is yet to be revealed. It's marinating.  I have a strong feeling that this little blog will be a big part of it.

xo