Drinking - Part 3

After three months of complete abstention from alcohol, my S.O. and I went to New Jersey for his niece's wedding.  My intention was to enjoy the wedding, reception and the week with our families - alcohol-free.  So much for good intentions.

As soon as we arrived at the reception, my future sister-in-law and mother of the bride "insisted" I have a Cosmopolitan as she knew how much I enjoyed them.  Just one, she said. Certainly you can have one. Oh sure.  Lots of luck with that. Theresa is not like me.  She rarely drinks and when she does, one is plenty for her.  So we toasted to her daughter's and new son's-in-law marriage and I was off.  She had just the one and switched to diet soda.

The evening was lovely, we wined, dined and danced and when the time for the party to end arrived, several of us went to the hotel bar for a nightcap.  I had already had enough, but hey - it's a wedding for Pete's sake.  I ordered a Black Russian. Oh boy.

We finally got to bed at 2 a.m. We were due at the wedding brunch at 9 a.m. the following day.   I don't recall ever feeling as awful as I did that morning.  And I probably looked terrible, too.  A great reminder of why I quit drinking!

Over the next 2 years I quit drinking several times, sometimes for two months or more, but always found myself giving in to that little voice that convinced me one glass of wine is fine and I can always go back to not drinking tomorrow.

This see-saw relationship with alcohol was beginning to take it's toll on me both physically and emotionally.  I found that the things I usually enjoyed; hiking, reading, being with friends, dining out,  was supplanted with alcohol or the aftereffect of the previous night's indulgence. My life was becoming smaller and smaller, shrinking right before my tired eyes. 

What in God's name was I doing to myself?  How did this happen? I had to get a grip.  I had to do something?  Moderation?  Abstinence?

Well, I tried moderation in the past.  That didn't work, whether I limited the number of days a week I would drink or the number of drinks a day I would allow. Abstention was the only way.

More in my next post.
xo