I Love These Brave Female Celebrities Who Are Proudly Sober

Famous people are human, too.

Photo by Laura Chouette on Unsplash

I’m not a celebrity watcher; yet, when I hear of one who is no longer consuming alcohol, my ears perk up. I want to know more. Did she quit because it had become a problem?

Celebrities influence society; there is no doubt about that. We often check out their clothes, who they are dating or married to, and some want to know about their children.

Sure, it may be interesting to uncover these tidbits; however, I want to know why they got sober. Had alcohol become a concern for them? Did they consider themselves addicted? Perhaps success in their careers depended on finding sobriety?

I am focusing here on women celebrities, and this list contains several I admire:

Miley Cyrus, singer, and actress. Miley got sober when she turned 26 because of fear of joining the “27 Club” — musicians who died at that age due to substance abuse. Miley has struggled with staying on track yet has been sober since then with one relapse while isolating during Covid. 

Eva Mendes, actress. Beautiful, talented, and strong, Eva struggled with substance addiction issues and went into rehab. She hasn’t had a drink in over 20 years. “I’m proud of people who have the determination and the fearlessness to actually go and face their demons and get better.” — from a 2008 interview.

Jada Pinkett Smith, actress, singer-songwriter, and businesswoman. Jada sobered up over 14 years ago. “I had problems with alcohol, and I really had to get in contact with the pain, whatever that is, and then I had to get some other tools in how to deal with the pain. From that day on I went cold turkey.”

Melanie Griffith, actress. Melanie has struggled with alcohol and cocaine addiction for decades and entered rehab several times with intermittent success. Melanie’s daughters convinced her to reenter rehab, and she has been sober since 2009. 

Edie Falco, actress. Alcoholism has been a battle for Edie, but she has been sober for 17 years. She is best known for her role in the “Sopranos,” where cast parties were frequent. She managed to make an appearance, but after a few minutes knew she had to leave “because I can’t live in that world anymore, it’s too dangerous.” 

Diana Ross, singer, actress. Ms. Ross struggled with addiction for most of her adult life and suffered from depression. Her addiction to pain pills and alcohol began following her divorce to Norwegian shipping tycoon Arne Naess in 1999. Ms. Ross was admitted to a rehab facility for drug and alcohol abuse in May of 2002. She appears to be sober today.

Jamie Lee Curtis, actress and writer. Ms. Curtis has been proudly sober for over 20 years. She had this to say about it: “Being courageous enough to acknowledge it privately with my family and friends, working really hard at solidifying it, getting support around it, and being healthy. And then talking about it publicly. That is the single greatest accomplishment of my life.”

All of these women admit that alcohol had become a problem for them personally and for some, professionally. They all dared to overcome the addiction, some very publicly. 

Celebrities can be role models, especially for our children, and their strength in overcoming their dependence is crucial to acknowledge and discuss with our youth.

Addiction is the same for famous folks as it is for non-celebrity people. After all, we are all human.

We should be proud that we have overcome our addiction and are dealing with life — in all its ups and downs, good times and bad, sober. 

Alcohol does not permanently ease our pain. It merely postpones it.

I know you have suffered greatly, as have these women, and have risen above it to live a life of joy, creativity, and zest.

If you are still debating whether to give up the drink — try it. I guarantee you will not regret the decision. Sober life is spectacular. 

It’s No Surprise Childhood Trauma May Lead to Addiction

How does our childhood affect our lives today?

Photo by Zachary Kadolph on Unsplash

My father was a hardworking man who provided for my mom, three siblings, and myself. He provided financially, period.

Seldom were words of kindness, encouragement, or affection bestowed by him.

Quite the contrary. My father was an unhappy man. When we children came along, he gave up his aspirations to be a fine artist, an oil painter.

He took his disappointment and frustrations out on my sister and me. We were one year apart and were inseparable for most of our youth.

Dad would stop off at the local tavern for a drink or two after work to ease the transition into home life. 

More times than not, he was angry at an issue that occurred at work, and sis and I were the convenient targets of his wrath.

He’d find a reason to be furious with us — a bicycle carelessly dropped on the lawn, we failed to finish raking the endless autumn leaves — always something.

His belt would come off; he ordered us to bend over and lash our backs and behinds with it.

For me, the physical pain was awful, but the humiliation of the strikes was what was heartbreaking.

Many decades have passed, dad has been dead almost 30 years, yet the memories arise from time to time.

What I withstood is minor compared to what others endured.

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Dr. Vincent Felitti, the founder of the Department of Preventive Medicine at Kaiser Permanente, dedicated his career to helping obese patients lower their health risks.

Through his work, he discovered that most overweight men and women had endured childhood abuse at the hands of caretakers — either physical, emotional, or sexual. Some suffered the loss of a parent through death or divorce, incarceration, or one suffering from addiction.

He worked to find a cure for obesity, yet his research finds that the scars run deep for children who have encountered abuse and are often numbed by alcohol, food, or drugs in adulthood.

There is secrecy and shame connected to this mistreatment. Not only do we numb ourselves because of our addictions, but this addiction leads to more shame.

Alcohol, like food, is socially acceptable and legal — and readily available, unlike drugs. Thus, alcoholism tends to be the addiction of choice for many of us.

Most of us are aware that childhood trauma led to our alcohol misuse. Understanding this can be the doorway to our sobriety. 

Childhood trauma is obviously, not the only reason men and women become addicted. There are myriad causes, but that is not this article.

The work to attain sobriety may not be easier because we understand the cause. However, understanding why we picked up a drink and continued imbibing for years or decades can assuage some shame. 

Releasing shame and forgiving everyone involved is a blessing.

"You can recognize survivors of abuse by their courage. When silence is so very inviting, they step forward and share their truth so that others know they aren’t alone. "— Jeanne McElvaney, Healing Insights: Effects of Abuse for Adults Abused as Children.

I Accepted the Plank Challenge One of Medium’s Writers Completed

Doing planks are way more than getting a strong tummy.

Photo by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash

Is there any hope my tummy could be salvaged by taking on a plank challenge? Two pregnancies, both Caesarians and many un-planked years later, I was the bearer of incredibly flabby, mushy abs.

A life-long exerciser — cardio is my go-to choice. I was a runner for over 20 years, from my ‘30’s to ’50s until my knees gave out. These days hiking and pickleball fill the aerobic bill nicely.

I’ve never loved strength training though I endured through that as well, albeit reluctantly and sporadically.

When Covid hit, I was determined to change my muscle-building routine and take it more seriously. I have consistently lifted weights two to three times a week for 91 weeks. Astonishing for me, a dedicated strength-training adversary. I know the benefits — still, I wasn’t motivated as I didn’t enjoy it. And it was darn hard! Being housebound during the pandemic, I was resolved to make a change.

My biceps and shoulders have built up so that it’s noticeable, and I’m pleased. My abs, however, lagged. 

Enter Darshak Rana, a writer for Better Humans, and his article outlining the 30-Day Plank Challenge. Hmmm. Could I accept this challenge, too? Is it possible my droopy, jelly-like tummy could firm the heck up as my biceps did? Or am I too old? Too female? Too far-gone to salvage my abdominal muscles?

To hell with all that. I began the challenge on January 1.

Whenever I’d attempted a plank previously, the most I could hold it was for about 30 seconds. I was determined to surpass that on day 1. And I’ll be damned if I didn’t. I held the plank position — correctly —  for one minute and 11 seconds. I was shocked beyond belief.

I had no idea that a simple challenge, as Darshak proposed, could energize and motivate me so.

I am now on day 13, having added a few seconds daily to the previous days’. I rest a few seconds, then perform another plank immediately after, to complete two minutes.

I look forward to firmer abs, more muscular core, and shoulders — as all those parts are engaged.

Another benefit of this challenge, even a few days in, is the mental strength I’ve gained, knowing I’ve taken on a task that before seemed unattainable. I also have achieved a level of pride, proving to no one but myself that I can improve a body part that I had forsaken and lost hope could ever firm up.

Since 2022 began, have you taken on a physical, health, or fitness challenge to support your lifestyle goals? Or perhaps you’ve decided to make changes in other areas of your life? Relationships, career, or other domains?

Maybe, instead of goals, you’ve set a general plan to live with intention — appreciating life and every moment.

Whatever your plan, we all have an inner reservoir of strength we can tap into to achieve our dreams.

Like most of you, I’m not new to challenges. Having reached the Third Third of my life, many enigmas have crossed my path, some tough ones. This one is slight compared to others. Still, I’m reaping the rewards of taking on this challenge and look forward to the final results.

Thank you, Darshak! I will report back at the end of the 30 days, and perhaps I, too, will continue beyond that period.

Could Dry January Be the Start of a New and Inspiring Phase of Your Life?

 

Why Not Give Dry January a go? — It’s not too late to jump in now.

Diana Leotta

1 day ago·3 min read

Photo by Brenda Godinez on Unsplash

I wasn’t interested in taking part in Dry January as I knew I’d fail — I’d have proved myself a loser.

About 20 years ago, my best friend and I were invited to a neighbor’s for dinner. He had asked another friend — and the four of us had a lovely dinner and stimulating conversation.

Rich participated in Dry January — something the San Francisco firemen did yearly. It wasn’t the big deal it is today where folks worldwide join in this event.

Rich was mid-way through the challenge and saying he felt great.

I did not get the point. If one enjoys drinking and does not overdo it — why bother abstaining for a month and going back to alcohol on February 1?

I proceeded to tempt him into making an exception that night so he could enjoy a drink along with the three of us partaking in the lovely wine we were sharing. Absolutely no way, nadda, uh uh, was his reply.

He had committed himself, and he was following through with it.

What a crutch the wine was. It gave me courage. It made me more sociable, funnier, a witty conversationalist. At least I thought so.

I also believed I needed this stimulant to boost my confidence while chatting with Rich’s handsome friend. A couple of glasses in, this proved to be a misinformed thought.

I wasn’t exactly intoxicated, but I was past the point of being “charming.”

Have you ever given Dry January a try? Are you giving it a go this year?

My attitude about it has changed since attaining sobriety. Any break from alcohol is a good idea, whether long-lasting or short-term.

A 30-day respite from alcohol gives one the chance to see how great it is to wake up clear-headed without the possible hang-over that often follows a night of imbibing.

According to Dr. George F. Koob, the director of the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism:

Participating in Dry January can be a great way to learn more about your drinking habits, which can help you make healthier choices moving forward…At the very least, taking a break from alcohol gives a person a chance to evaluate their relationship with alcohol and cultivate alternatives for relaxing, socializing, coping and other reasons why people drink.

I love the last part — cultivating alternatives for relaxing, socializing, coping, and others reason why people drink.

Frequently, people drink out of habit — it’s just what we do when socializing, stressed, or having a relaxing evening with loved ones. And we rarely give it a second thought.

Allowing the liver, pancreas, heart, nervous system, and kidneys a much-needed rest is another benefit of a 30-day break from drinking. Alcohol stresses and is highly toxic to these organs that we count on continually.

I could not imagine going without alcohol for an entire month during the years I drank.

Now that I have over three years of sobriety and know first-hand the benefits and joy of not drinking — I say, without hesitation — give Dry January a try.

With luck at your side — this could be the start of a new and exciting phase of your life.

I can’t think of a better way to start the new year.

I Love These 3 Powerful Questions to Ask Before the End of the Year

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I'm not saying resolutions aren't necessary; however, let's take a different view.

Photo by Omid Armin on Unsplash

I'm a New Year's Resolutions maker. I always have been, for as long as I can remember.

I look forward to it. It seems like a way to wipe the slate clean of last year's boo-boos and start fresh.

Sure, I plan to accomplish a few things, such as new granite countertops for our bathrooms, fresh paint, and a new shower. I procrastinated on these during Covid.

There are a few personal intentions as well — gaining a level in my pickleball rating and a larger readership here on this blog.

However, is there a better idea?

 I received an email from Marie Forleo, entrepreneur and author of Everything is Figureoutable. I love her philosophy — yes, everything is indeed figure outable — just don't give up. 

Her email suggested that instead of setting goals for 2022, we ask ourselves the following three questions:

• What did you do, create or experience that you're really proud of?
• What mistakes did you make that taught you something? What lessons did you learn that you can leverage?
• What's one limiting story you're ready to let go of before the New Year?

I plan to give these questions deep thought and see what I arrive at. I've already intuitively decided on my answers. However, I want to explore further and see what else appears in my heart and mind.

I have written about how we're wired NOT to congratulate ourselves for our victories — big or small. Now is the time to revisit this area. Of course, you've had wins — time to acknowledge them.

Mistakes — who me? Of course. Time to review them, as well, and see what can we learn from them. This is not a reason to beat ourselves up but to learn from them.

Have you carried an item or two from the previous year's goal list into the next year? Perhaps it's time to re-think these goals. Could it be that it no longer fits you or the life you've created?

What about letting go of resentment, anger, and shame you've been lugging around for way too long?

Just as cleaning out a closet allows fresh goodies to enter — so does clearing out old goals and angst that is no longer valid today. Let's make way for new and meaningful intentions.

I must drop my waistline ideal! If I haven't managed to achieve it in the past five years — adios. Ain't going to happen.

"It’s not till you let go of something that you see how it's been holding you back." -Marie Forleo.

What do you think about goals? Do you still plan on setting some? Goals are not a bad thing. They're a way of creating and achieving dreams and visions — and I say go for it. 

However, keep them reasonable and attainable and vital to your happiness. Otherwise, what's the point?

Wishing you a healthy, happy, and blessed 2022. 

Have You Considered Being Alcohol-free This Merry Holiday Season?

You may be pleasantly surprised by how satisfying sobriety can be.

Photo by Kate Hliznitsova on Unsplash

My mother was an incredible baker. For the three or so nights leading up to Christmas Eve, we could find her in the kitchen baking her heart out till the wee hours of the morning.

Mom would nip sherry while creating these delicacies— way before she was identified as an alcoholic many years later. The confections were delicious and gorgeous —as she was able to control her imbibing.

My childhood was filled with fearful anticipation that my father would erupt in anger over a minor mishap during our Christmas Eve celebration. We always had a houseful of guests — family and friends. It didn't matter who was there if Dad was annoyed — lookout.

 I lived with anxiety, as my father was unhappy and combative.

I had no idea alcohol was the catalyst behind his outbursts. Many years later, I learned he, too, was an alcoholic.

My drinking started in my teens and continued throughout my adulthood.

When I was a homemaker and mother, I followed in my mother's footsteps. My husband would buy me a bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream, a Christmas tradition, and I would sip from a dainty little footed glass — all night long.

My bottle was empty within two nights (maybe three, if I was disciplined). Mom had more self-control than I. Miraculously, my cookies were still quite yummy and pretty, too.

No surprise, I inherited my fondness for libations from parents who were addicted. I'm sure this taste for alcohol was more a learned behavior than genetic.

 The few breaks I took from swilling were through two pregnancies and breastfeeding.

As a young parent, my Christmas Day began with my hubby and me enjoying mimosas while the children opened their gifts. We'd continue drinking until we put the boys to bed.

For all my adult years, alcohol was part of the festivities. It was simply a given. Didn't everyone celebrate holidays this way?

Christmas 2021 will be my fourth as a sober woman. Damn, I'm proud! And I should be. My sobriety was a hard-won accomplishment.

After retiring and indulging more heavily daily — sobriety was the obvious decision. Something's gotta go. It had to be the booze, or I wouldn't be healthy and hearty for long.

Besides having children, quitting my addiction to alcohol is the absolute best decision I have made.

Photo by Svitlana on Unsplash

My life embodies a joy I had no idea existed. My days are filled with creative endeavors — such as writing for Medium and my blog, creating collages, and constantly changing up the decor in our home to coincide with the seasons. 

I wouldn't be here writing today if it weren't for my sobriety.

Plus, I have added a new sport — pickleball to my days. What a hoot this game is. Not only is pickleball a great way to exercise, but I have also gained a tribe of like-minded women who are now my friends.

My life is richer, busier, and more fulfilling than I could ever have imagined.

If you have the faintest notion that sobriety could be a way of life you would like to explore, I say go for it. I am sure you will discover— sobriety is a kick!

I will not wake on December 26 wondering if I did anything stupid on Christmas. I will not drop the ham. Nor will I catch my hair on fire. I will not get sloppy and teary and embarrass my family. I will not wake up with a hangover.

Yup — you guessed it — all of the above I have experienced on Christmas Days past.

It is a joy to celebrate sober — with a glass of sparkling cider in my favorite crystal flute. 

Gratitude and pride are the most significant blessings I enjoy from being sober.

You can do it, too.

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas filled with love, peace, and joy.

The Top 10 Excuses Keeping You from a More Daring and Exciting Life

Let go of your excuses and live an inspired life.

Photo by Ivana Cajina on Unsplash

How long can we make alibis for why we cannot do the "thing" we want to do?

I lived many years hog-tied by one excuse after another. I'm too old. I can't afford it. I don't have the time.

When are we going to stop this distorted way of thinking and get on with pursuing our dreams?

I know many of you use excuses, as well. A good deal of these justifications seems valid. After all, we have a family to support and can't abandon our responsibilities for some silly idea. We have bills to pay, children to raise, a mortgage that's due, remember?

Wayne Dyer was an American self-help and spiritual author and motivational speaker and one of my favorites. He formulated a list of people's top excuses for not fulfilling their desires. These are ten from his list that resonates with me, and I believe you will recognize them as well:

Top Ten Excuses:

1. I'm too old (or too young).
2. I don't deserve it.
3. I don't have the money.
4. I don't have the time or energy.
5. My family would disapprove.
6. I don't know how.
7. I've never done this before.
8. I don't have the proper training, degree.
9. It's going to be risky.
10. I'm scared.

And the ones I used most often throughout my life:

1. I don't deserve it.
2. I don't have the proper training or degree.
3. I'm scared.
4. I don't have the time.

Being scared or I don't deserve is hidden within every one of my excuses.

What about your excuses? If you are courageous and believe you deserve your dream, you wouldn't have excuses at all. This statement may be an oversimplification; however, that is how it was for me.

Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash

Excuses become a part of our habitual thinking. This type of reasoning can only do one thing — drag us down. Is that what we want for our lives? Of course not. Then why do we persist in making excuses?

You got it — the F word — fear. The good news is this fear is, for the most part, baseless. Knowing the dread is groundless does not mean we will change our response. However, awareness is the first step to changing any behavior.

Courage is one step ahead of fear. — Coleman Young, American politician and first African-American Mayor of Detroit

Unfortunately, the more you make excuses, the easier it is to continue to make even more, according to Dominic Soh of Thrive Global. I tend to agree with that — it's the power of repetition.

Break the chain of repetition by taking a baby step toward your goal, just one. Then take another. You will gain a bit more courage with each bold action. In addition, an unexpected opening will often occur that moves you even further along with each movement. Call it the Universe lending a hand or a synchronistic gift — whatever we choose to name it, let's say thank you.

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"Life shrinks or expands according to one’s courage.  "— Anais Nin.

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I am so enjoying my newfound avocation — writing. However, I've been silently whining that I don't have enough time for it — one of my top four excuses.

How can that be — I'm retired. Sure, I still have responsibilities, but that is a far cry from those working full-time AND writing! What is my problem, and how can I be so busy?

No excuses — get up earlier to write, stay up later to edit, quit wasting time on nonsensical media stuff, whatever it takes — get on with it and quit complaining.

That eliminates the B.S. excuse — I don't have the time. Make the time for what's important.

And again, to all the full-time workers, you have more of a challenge. Yet you can carve out bits and pieces of time here and there. I know you're creative and most likely have already figured it out.

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The I'm scared excuse held me back for a long time though I never admitted it to anyone, including myself. Being afraid was often why I didn't take on a challenge or new goal. 

Fear can stop me in my tracks even today — though I know better. I now push through the fear — often envisioning my success at the end of the encounter. 

I've finally given up that habit and taken on a few things that scared me, and the results have been exceedingly worthwhile.

I was afraid to try pickleball — I don't know how, I've never done this before, I'm scared, all appeared. I signed up for group classes and had a ball, and now pickleball is my obsession. Plus, I now have a group of equally passionate women who are my friends.

And, yes, there is something to say about giving credence to our fear, as well. Our misgivings could be a warning that there may be something amiss, and check it out before proceeding.

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My goal was writing and publishing on Medium, except for the fear and the lack of training or degree excuses that held me back. That is until my friend, Meg, talked me out of those silly memes, and here I am on Medium.

I'm sure I'm not an isolated example of a writer afraid to publish on this platform or any of the other options available. All the writers on Medium have been an example to me, and I thank you for your guidance and wise, insightful work.

"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. "— Lao Tzu, Ancient Chinese philosopher.

People of all ages, occupations, and cultures have overcome their excuses because the desire was loftier than the pretext. Olympic athletes, award-winning actors, incredible musicians, artists of every ilk, extraordinary doers worldwide have overcome their defenses to live the life of their dreams.

We must push past our excuses and take action to achieve our vision. After all, this is the only life we have.

One Simple But Perhaps Not Easy Way to Improve Your Holidays

Try having a sober holiday — I doubt you'll have any remorse.

Diana Leotta

5 days ago·3 min read

Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

I'm waking and opening my eyes early on the day following Thanksgiving. No headache, regrets, or remorse from our Thanksgiving celebration. I'm delighted and grateful — rejoicing in my sobriety.

Even though our holiday was just my husband and me, it could have been an alcohol-filled one, as it was often in years prior.

You would find me stuffing the turkey while swilling champagne even though it wasn't even noon. Hey, it's Thanksgiving! — was my reasoning. My husband would imbibe right along with me, my partner in crime.

We would've polished off a couple of bottles by the time we were ready to enjoy the turkey and the side dishes we'd prepared. We'd thought that was fun.

Too many years I awoke on Black Friday with regret and dread, admonishing myself for overindulging on turkey day. I had no intention to get that tipsy. Apparently, someone filled my glass when I wasn't looking. (Insert eye-rolling here).

2021 marks my fourth Thanksgiving as a proud sober woman.

If I was able to quit drinking — you certainly can, too. Why am I so confident? The answer is — I drank alcohol for over 50 years. Mind-boggling, I know.

Both my parents were alcoholics. I have a sibling who also is addicted — however happily sober for 15 years. There are other family members, I suspect, also dependent on this intoxicant.

This year at noon, I filled my crystal goblet with sparkling apple juice diluted with club soda. This cocktail is usually served to the children, but now it was a welcome treat for me.

I stuffed that bird with a feeling of relief and gratitude because I had zero desire for alcohol.

My husband continues to enjoy cocktails and wine. I'm no longer bothered by this. And I'm relieved that it's not an enticement.

I am responsible only for myself and am thrilled to be taking such good care of this one body and soul I have.

Sobriety is not a limitation. It’s a superpower. — Brene’ Brown, U.S. writer and professor.

Many of you can savor having a glass of wine or a cocktail and have no interest in a second one. Or you could have a second one and not finish it. Remarkable to me.

There were times I'd wished I had that ability — to take it or leave it. Unfortunately, I'm one of those who doesn't possess an "off switch" when alcohol is involved.

For many years I was lost in the undertow of alcohol. Its pull is powerful and relentless. Or perhaps I was weak?

After a few years into retirement, I knew something had to change as the cocktail hour began earlier and earlier. And my life was getting smaller and smaller.

It took two years of reading various books on quitting the addiction to alcohol before I finally committed to free myself. Cocktails and wine — once a pleasure had become a millstone that was crushing the life out of me.

The freedom and joy I now experience daily are glorious feelings I would not exchange for the finest glass of wine or the most delicious cocktail.

My life has become more expansive — it's productive and filled with creative projects and achievable dreams. I possess a joy and sense of freedom I did not expect to receive by quitting drinking.

If you suspect that your drinking habit is taking more from you than you're getting, the time may be now to take a deep and honest look at your life and what you want to attain.

I assure you — you'll be exceedingly grateful and delighted that you did.