Let go of your excuses and live an inspired life.
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How long can we make alibis for why we cannot do the "thing" we want to do?
I lived many years hog-tied by one excuse after another. I'm too old. I can't afford it. I don't have the time.
When are we going to stop this distorted way of thinking and get on with pursuing our dreams?
I know many of you use excuses, as well. A good deal of these justifications seems valid. After all, we have a family to support and can't abandon our responsibilities for some silly idea. We have bills to pay, children to raise, a mortgage that's due, remember?
Wayne Dyer was an American self-help and spiritual author and motivational speaker and one of my favorites. He formulated a list of people's top excuses for not fulfilling their desires. These are ten from his list that resonates with me, and I believe you will recognize them as well:
Top Ten Excuses:
- I'm too old (or too young).
- I don't deserve it.
- I don't have the money.
- I don't have the time or energy.
- My family would disapprove.
- I don't know how.
- I've never done this before.
- I don't have the proper training, degree.
- It's going to be risky.
- I'm scared.
And the ones I used most often throughout my life:
- I don't deserve it.
- I don't have the proper training or degree.
- I'm scared.
- I don't have the time.
Being scared or I don't deserve is hidden within every one of my excuses.
What about your excuses? If you are courageous and believe you deserve your dream, you wouldn't have excuses at all. This statement may be an oversimplification; however, that is how it was for me.
Photo by Alexandra Gorn on Unsplash
Excuses become a part of our habitual thinking. This type of reasoning can only do one thing — drag us down. Is that what we want for our lives? Of course not. Then why do we persist in making excuses?
You got it — the F word — fear. The good news is this fear is, for the most part, baseless. Knowing the dread is groundless does not mean we will change our response. However, awareness is the first step to changing any behavior.
Courage is one step ahead of fear. — Coleman Young, American politician and first African-American Mayor of Detroit
Unfortunately, the more you make excuses, the easier it is to continue to make even more, according to Dominic Soh of Thrive Global. I tend to agree with that — it's the power of repetition.
Break the chain of repetition by taking a baby step toward your goal, just one. Then take another. You will gain a bit more courage with each bold action. In addition, an unexpected opening will often occur that moves you even further along with each movement. Call it the Universe lending a hand or a synchronistic gift — whatever we choose to name it, let's say thank you.
"Life shrinks or expands according to one’s courage. "— Anais Nin.
I am so enjoying my newfound avocation — writing. However, I've been silently whining that I don't have enough time for it — one of my top four excuses.
How can that be — I'm retired. Sure, I still have responsibilities, but that is a far cry from those working full-time AND writing! What is my problem, and how can I be so busy?
No excuses — get up earlier to write, stay up later to edit, quit wasting time on nonsensical media stuff, whatever it takes — get on with it and quit complaining.
That eliminates the B.S. excuse — I don't have the time. Make the time for what's important.
And again, to all the full-time workers, you have more of a challenge. Yet you can carve out bits and pieces of time here and there. I know you're creative and most likely have already figured it out.
* * *
The I'm scared excuse held me back for a long time though I never admitted it to anyone, including myself. Being afraid was often why I didn't take on a challenge or new goal.
Fear can stop me in my tracks even today — though I know better. I now push through the fear — often envisioning my success at the end of the encounter.
I've finally given up that habit and taken on a few things that scared me, and the results have been exceedingly worthwhile.
I was afraid to try pickleball — I don't know how, I've never done this before, I'm scared, all appeared. I signed up for group classes and had a ball, and now pickleball is my obsession. Plus, I now have a group of equally passionate women who are my friends.
And, yes, there is something to say about giving credence to our fear, as well. Our misgivings could be a warning that there may be something amiss, and check it out before proceeding.
* * *
My goal was writing and publishing on Medium, except for the fear and the lack of training or degree excuses that held me back. That is until my friend, Meg, talked me out of those silly memes, and here I am on Medium.
I'm sure I'm not an isolated example of a writer afraid to publish on this platform or any of the other options available. All the writers on Medium have been an example to me, and I thank you for your guidance and wise, insightful work.
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. "— Lao Tzu, Ancient Chinese philosopher.
People of all ages, occupations, and cultures have overcome their excuses because the desire was loftier than the pretext. Olympic athletes, award-winning actors, incredible musicians, artists of every ilk, extraordinary doers worldwide have overcome their defenses to live the life of their dreams.
We must push past our excuses and take action to achieve our vision. After all, this is the only life we have.
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