Quit listening to your thoughts— it’s not you — it’s your mind!
My friend, Carol, a pickleball enthusiast I play with often, had an issue she was struggling with.
In her mind, she felt slighted by two players. They stopped inviting Carol to play with her as they may have been a bit more advanced than she. She was hurt and confused as she had been willing and happy to play with them when they were newbies, even though she would have rather played with others more on her level.
The women met to play several more times, and Carol was left out, once again.
They were her friends — why would they treat her this way?
Carol was crushed.
You may be thinking — wait, this is an adult woman? She’s behaving like an adolescent whining over something as inconsequential as that?
It has been said we don’t care what others think of us once we reach a certain age. I don’t care if you’re 105 — when someone slights you, it can hurt. I’m glad I was available to help soothe my friend’s ruffled feathers.
Coincidentally, I came across this sentence in a novel I’m currently reading:
"The politest of rejections eats into the soul, destroying the trust that might have existed, the friendship that might have survived." — The Bay of Angels, Anita Brookner, author.
After allowing her feelings to marinate for several days, Carol concluded that even though her perception was that her friends snubbed her, she was every bit as worthwhile and goodhearted as before these heartwrenching thoughts entered her head.
Carol has decided to take this as a lesson in self-love.
This decision did not come to her readily, as all indications pointed that she was intentionally being avoided.
"We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. "— Carlos Castaneda.
Carol summoned up her pride and self-esteem and decided that she would take the high road whatever her friends’ reasons for the rejection. She would accept that they appeared to rebuff her and know that this experience would not change her life immensely and could be an opportunity to embrace self-acceptance.
Sometimes we need a stunning wake-up call to remind us of our goodness, our value in the world, and to once again, turn our faces to the sun and say thank you, God, the universe, powers that be — for the reminder that we are on earth to learn, grow and experience joy — no matter our age.
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