Let go of your excuses and live a creative life.
I’m too old. I can’t afford it. I don’t have the time. Yadda yadda. How long can we make excuses why we aren't able to do the “thing” we want to do?
When are we going to stop this distorted way of thinking and get on with pursuing our dreams?
I lived many years hog-tied by one excuse after another. I know many of you have, as well. A good deal of these excuses seemed valid. After all, we have a family to support and can’t abandon our responsibilities for some silly idea. We have bills to pay, a mortgage that’s due, remember?
Wayne Dyer was an American self-help and spiritual author and motivational speaker and one of my favorites. He formulated a list of the top excuses people have for not fulfilling their desires. These are ten from his list that resonates with me, and I believe you will recognize them as well:
- I’m too old (or too young).
- I don’t deserve it.
- I don’t have the money.
- I don’t have the time or energy.
- My family would disapprove.
- I don’t know how.
- I’ve never done this before.
- I don’t have the right training, degree.
- It’s going to be risky.
- I’m scared.
And these are the ones I used most often throughout my life:
- I don’t deserve it.
- I don’t have the right training or degree.
- I’m scared.
- I don’t have the time.
What about you? Being scared or I don’t deserve is hidden within every one of the excuses.
If you are courageous and believe you deserve your dream, you wouldn't have excuses at all. This may be an oversimplification; however, that is how it was for me.
Excuses become a part of our habitual thinking. This type of reasoning can only do one thing — drag us down. Is that what we want for our lives? Of course, not. Then why do we persist in making excuses?
You got it — the F word — fear. The good news is this fear is, for the most part, baseless. This does not mean it will change because we recognize this. However, awareness is the first step to change any behavior.
Courage is one step ahead of fear. — Coleman Young, American politician and first African-American Mayor of Detroit.
Unfortunately, the more you make excuses, the easier it is to make even more excuses, according to Dominic Soh of Thrive Global. I tend to agree with that — the power of repetition.
Break the chain of repetition by taking a baby step toward your goal, just one. Then take another. You will gain a bit more courage with each forward action. In addition, an unexpected opening will often occur that moves you even further along with each movement. Call it the Universe lending a hand or a synchronistic gift — whatever we choose to name it, let’s say thank you.
Life shrinks or expands according to one’s courage. — Anais Nin.
I am so enjoying my newfound avocation — writing. However, I’ve been whining internally that I don’t have enough time for it—one of my top four excuses.
How can that be — I’m retired. Sure, I still have responsibilities, but that is a far cry from those working full-time AND writing! What is my problem, and how can I be so busy?
The truth? I also love playing pickleball, hiking, and walking with my friend, Shannon, and our dogs. I also have a husband, and being a “good” wife, I want/should spend time with him. So, I do. Also, I feel the need to make dinner a few nights a week — hubby does get hungry. Oh yeah, and tidying the house, a bit of shopping — the chores that keep reappearing week after week. Bottom line — get up earlier to write, stay up later to edit, quit wasting time on nonsensical media stuff, whatever it takes — get on with it and quit complaining.
That eliminates that excuse — I don’t have the time is B.S. Make the time for what’s important.
And again, to all the full-time workers — you do have more of a challenge. Yet you can carve out bits and pieces of time hither and yon. I know you’re creative and have already figured it out.
The I’m scared excuse held me back for a long time though I never admitted it to anyone, including myself. Being afraid was often the reason I didn’t take on a challenge or new goal. Subconsciously, I deferred to one of the other popular excuse choices.
I’ve finally given up that habit and taken on a few things that scared me, and the results have been exceedingly worthwhile.
I was afraid to try pickleball — I don't know how, I’ve never done this before, I’m scared, all appeared. I signed up for group classes and had a ball, and now pickleball is my obsession. Plus, I now have a group of equally captivated women I now call friends.
Writing and publishing on Medium was a goal of mine — except for the fear and the lack of training or degree excuses that held me back. That is until my friend, Meg, talked me out of those silly memes, and here I am on Medium.
I’m sure I’m not an isolated example of a writer afraid to publish on this platform or any of the other options available. You have been an example to me and I thank you for your guidance and wise, insightful writing.
People of all ages, occupations, and cultures have overcome their excuses because the desire was greater than the pretext. Olympic athletes, Oscar and Tony award-winning actors, incredible musicians, artists of every ilk, extraordinary doers all over the globe have overcome their excuses to live the life of their dreams.
We must push past our excuses and take action to achieve our vision. After all, this is the only life we have.
The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. — Lao Tzu, Ancient Chinese philosopher.
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