When you stop growing, you also stop thriving. Is the fear of failure holding you back?
Isn’t thriving part of being alive, part of being human? If we quit growing, we begin dying — a dull, sluggish death.
As a plant becomes root-bound in its pot, soon to die, we, too, become diminished by the inactivity of mind and body. When the mind ceases to grow, the physical body begins a slow decline into decrepitude.
"Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up. "— Robert Schuller, Christian pastor, and author.
Growing means trying something new, often. Maybe not daily, but for Pete's sake, at least weekly.
This “something new” could be as simple as sampling new food, smelling a flower you have never sniffed before, or as grand as visiting a foreign country.
Stretch yourself.
If you’re a reader and not a writer, try your hand at penning a poem or an essay. If you’re a writer and not a massive consumer of the written word, give a go at reading a piece of literature you would usually pass up. For me, this would be a piece in the areas of theology or science. I typically shy away from these subjects.
I stretched.
Over 20 years ago, I picked up a paintbrush for the first time. I was terrified. I questioned if I should even give painting a shot.
My fear increased as I entered the art class and faded somewhat as I grew more assured. The alarm began growing again as I could not fathom how to make the sky in my painting resemble the real thing!
Through lessons and on my own, I gradually became satisfied with my sky with continued practice.
This ebb and flow of fear/self-confidence continued with each new painting and often with every stroke. Persevere, I did, ultimately feeling proud of the numerous art pieces I completed.
I was able to transfer this self-assurance into designing collages. Again, the fear and insecurity appeared only to dissipate with each creation completed.
I know you, too, have experienced this fluctuation in self-confidence as you attempted a new endeavor.
Experiencing an unfamiliar event brings up our fear and resistance, our ego’s way of protecting us from failure.
There is no such thing as failure if you are trying. The only defeat is in not examining the challenge or forsaking the opportunity rather than seizing it.
"I’ve failed over and over again in my life and that is why I have succeeded. "— Michael Jordan, basketball player and businessman.
When you were a toddler attempting to take your first step and fell, you may have cried, yet the thought of not getting up wasn’t even a consideration. Growing and learning were exciting and thrilling then. It’s only later, when our egos have developed, that the shame of failure takes hold.
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Elle Luna writes this about growth in her book The Crossroads of Should and Must — Find and Follow Your Passion:
The snake is the ancient sacred symbol for transformation. In order to grow, it must shed its skin. This process is painful, dangerous, and necessary for growth. The snake’s insides are literally outgrowing its outside, and it must remove its restrictive, outermost layer.
The snake rubs and scratches, feeling that something’s not quite right. During the process, it's coloring sometimes shifts to an indigo blue hue. If for some reason the snake cannot shed its skin, over time it will become malnourished, possibly even blind, and it will die from its inability to grow.
But when it successfully completes the process, the snake emerges stronger and healthier — a new incarnation.
And so, for us, a level of transformation takes place every time we step outside our comfort zone, break through the resistance, and summon our courage and accept the challenge that awaits us.
"Success means going from one failure to another without loss of enthusiasm. "— Winston Churchill.
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