How Will You Handle It When Suddenly Your Honey Is Failing to Keep Up With His Chores?

 Figure out why then take control?

Photo by Laura Ohlman on Unsplash

Sprinklers are shooting into the street while our lawn is turning brown. He's "working" on it. "Honey, call the sprinkler guys — they'll fix it in a jiffy."

He replies that it's a simple fix, and he can do it. Weeks pass; we're supplementing with hand watering with a hose.

Two of our cars need oil changes. Simple right? Not to my hubby. He has a coupon to get both changed for a good deal. Great. So make the appointment.

Several weeks, then months later, a bit of nagging. Still, saying ok but no action.

I tell him I will take mine, and he can deal with his, and he gets upset. He insists we don't drive them very much.

He says we'll take them together to take advantage of the special rate. Eye roll on my part. Patience.

Our little sports car is overdue for emissions. I attempt to bring it in. Battery dead. Several weeks later, honey gets a new battery. It is sitting on the garage floor, collecting dust.

The registration for this car expired in January.

More chores need attention—no point belaboring it.

I suspect cognitive issues — he refuses to believe it and won't get tested.

Sleepless nights

I awoke at 2:30 a.m. today with these ongoing chores on my mind. Finally, at 4 a.m. I gave up on sleep and created a list of the top 10 issues we need to handle. I will either take over the reins or supervise.

I feel much better, and writing this article also brings relief.

I hadn't wanted to take over as these previously were chores he liked to attend to.

Hubby is having problems. We are the same age but hugely dissimilar in many ways.

I exercise vigorously six days a week; he does nada.

I'm fit (for a retiree in her seventh decade), and my weight is suitable for my height.

I don't take any medications and gave up alcohol four years ago.

Suffice it to say; that he hasn't kept up.

I read voraciously and write daily. Hubby reads the newspaper — yay!

My point is — he is declining more rapidly than I due to his lifestyle, so I must take over.

Changes are coming

My days usually consist of exercise first thing to get my Golden, Merlin, and me out the door early. Next up, a light breakfast, and then I'm off to play pickleball for a couple of hours.

Lunch with hubby, then chores. Afternoons I write from two to four-thirty or five.

That is the heartbreaker — I will have to cut back on my writing. It may be a temporary pause — hopefully, not long-term.

There are only so many hours in the day, and for me to handle all that we have neglected will take time.

Still, I will write when I can and report on my progress.

Previously, I was posting on Medium.com six days a week. We shall see what the future brings.

I'm glad I'm healthy and willing to pick up where my husband is no longer able.

Everyone will come to a point in their relationships where we must pivot to keep the status quo as much in place as possible.

Look at how many changes we've already made in our lives.

Some of us made massive changes during recovery — either through addiction, Covid, or other illnesses.

Many had children to raise and then became empty nesters. Often, we've had a loved one die.

These are huge shifts, and we handled them with as much grace as we could muster.

When that is no longer possible, we will take the next step. And then the next. So is the process of life.

I look forward to the steps that are on the horizon.