I’m sober and happy — such a fabulous combination.
My dear friend, Tim, was given an ultimatum by his wife of 25 years — stop drinking, or you’re outta here. And she planned on making sure their three children would stay with her in their home.
He tried to quit and failed. He tried again, failed again. The third time is a charm, as they say, and he is now 15 years sober.
Tim is thrilled to be alcohol-free. He acknowledges he’s more productive at work, his wife and children are happier, and hangovers and arguments over his drinking are a thing of the past.
Only one slight problem.
Tim loved to drink. He relished every drop of his favorite cocktail trickling down his throat. He treasured the Chardonnay he enjoyed at dinner. Tim even spoiled himself with an after-dinner drink of Bailey’s or a White Russian at times.
He was wildly smitten with his intoxicants. And because of this love affair — even 15 years later, he still pines for them.
He regards his former days of drinking as fun times. After imbibing, he didn’t even mind the headaches and sinus congestion the following morning.
Fortunately, Tim is a wise man and understands that even one drink, maybe even one sip, could send him down the road of no return.
Still, there may be a little resentment that he was forced to quit.
Not only that, but he has stated that IF he somehow found himself single — he would indulge in a cocktail. But, he’d never go back to overdoing again. Sure, good luck with that.
When a drinker quits because he’s been given an ultimatum — the power is in the ultimatum giver’s hands. You do this, or else. Tell me this wouldn’t create resentment?
Tim and his family are happy, and hopefully, they will continue to be.
* * *
What about those of us who knew we must quit drinking. Without a shadow of a doubt, we knew that the time had come — our lives depended on our getting sober. No one had to tell us.
I’m not saying we had an easier time quitting. It’s still the same work. When the drinker chooses to sober up, the power is in our hands. No one is looking over our shoulder, keeping track of what we’re doing, how we’re managing, and if we’re making sufficient progress.
Maybe certain family members are — still, the choice is ours. We usually have the full support and encouragement of our loved ones. We know the onus is on us by our intent to sober up, not because a spouse or other relative leveled threats.
We, too, may at times desire a drink. After all, many of us have decades of drinking behind us, and some old habits die hard. Thank the Lord; we know where one drink will lead, and it’s not pretty.
For most of my former drinking friends and me — we are thrilled and thank God every day for our continued sobriety, knowing we hold the power.
The great news is that success in sobriety can be had whether you’ve been given an ultimatum or realize you’d had enough of that poison, and the time to quit has arrived.
Sobriety is a success, and I say well done!
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