Let Go of the Need to Control Life

 

Get on that raft and float down the river of life.

Photo by Amruth Pillai on Unsplash

I was running, doing, racing, hurrying. Wait — why? What’s the big rush?

I’m a true fan of The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. I’m more than a fan as this book has become a bible of sorts for me. 

Untethered has led me out of many a dark place. It has also reminded me that our sole purpose for being on this planet is to experience joy.

How many of us are doing that regularly— experiencing joy?

Recently I’ve been suffering abdominal issues, and I know the source is stress.

Why the heck do I have stress? I’m retired, live a life many would envy. I have a husband who loves me, a son I adore, dear friends who fill my life with fun and laughter. And a precious Golden Retriever named Merlin slobbers me with unconditional love.

Still, stress is present in my life.

I must take full responsibility for this tension.

In a conversation during a break between pickleball matches, several friends and I were discussing my tummy trouble. Maryann suggested thoroughly chewing my food, as we do not benefit from the enzymes in our meals if we eat too quickly. Enzymes could help me.

Slow down my eating? Of course. How could I have forgotten this simple technique?

Sure, I’ve told myself this a dozen times — slow down, taste the food, enjoy and savor every bite. I try. Sometimes I manage to restrain myself and even linger a bit over each meal. 

I often want to finish to get on to the next project, even if that means loading the dishwasher and tidying up the kitchen.

Rushing through a meal is not an isolated incident. I tend to do this with many issues throughout my day.

The natural flow of life doesn’t want us to race through our days. Why do we persist in this marathon?

I know for sure, I’m not alone in this foolishness. My buddies on the court nodded in agreement, adding their frustration with this big rush to get on with the next item on our full agendas.

I’m determined to stop this insanity.

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Re-enter Michael A. Singer and his second best-seller, The Surrender Experiment. I have only read The Premise thus far. The first part of Section One — four measly pages, and already I am Know (with a capital K) this book could be life-changing if I follow it.

The Premise is — Go with the flow of life instead of fighting it. 

Mr. Singer points out the universe has been around for 13.8 billion years and doing quite well independently without our assistance.

He asks the question:

"…what would happen if we respected the flow of life and used our free will to participate in what’s unfolding, instead of fighting it? What would be the quality of life that unfolds? Would it just be random events with no order or meaning, or would the same perfection of order and meaning that manifests in the rest of the universe in the everyday life around us?"

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Again going with life’s flow is not a new concept. 

In the ‘70’s spiritual author, self-help, and motivational speaker Wayne Dyer wrote and often spoke about rowing our boats gently down the stream. He repeatedly lectured not to paddle upstream — always downstream, going with the flow. 

I “got” it then, when I was much younger, and attempted to go with the flow, never fully succeeding but always striving for ease.

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No, we won’t let life befall us willy nilly. 

As Mr. Singer writes:

"Let’s be clear right from the start, however, that this type of surrender does not mean living life without the assertion of will. My story … is simply the story of what happened when the assertion of will was guided by what life was doing instead of what I wanted it to be doing. My personal experience is that aligning one's will with the natural forces unfolding around us leads to some surprisingly powerful results."

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I plan to continue writing daily, as I love to do. It fills me with happiness and expectation. What I — and all writers cannot control — is the result of our writing. 

Let’s let go of our complaining that we don't have many readers, or other writers getting more views. Instead, let’s turn out our best work and surrender to the flow.

Now, in the Third Third of my life, I want to slow down, relish every moment and allow life to unfold as naturally as possible. Perhaps it’s time to give this idea serious implementation — with the guidance of Mr. Singer and The Surrender Experience.

My ultimate goal is to live a life of ease in every sense of the word.